tales of slow, brave Athena

this blog is moving!

2004-11-17T10:58:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned my desire to move the blog onto my own domain, and I have finally done that. You'll find it at www.braveathena.com

The old entries (everything but this one) are already there. Please come visit, update your links, resubscribe to the new address—and I'll try to make it worth your while!

back at work

2004-11-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

So, I'm back at work. My symptoms are not bad at all, except for the inability to do anything physical without wearing myself out. So no planned exercise today.

As if to remind me of my pathetic state, I ran into one of the M-W-F gym regulars on my way into work. We both just smiled and nodded, and I thought, dammit, he just came from the gym. I was jealous! Soon, I'll get back to this stuff. Soon.

home sick

2004-11-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm sick again. This is terribly disappointing. Yesterday I started with the hot and cold, constant sneezing, constant nose running, and exhaustion with simple activities. Sigh. So I'm home so I don't share it with others.

The worst of it is that I am sick. Simple activities, like bringing my coffee cup to the kitchen, winds me, and bringing clothing upstairs covers me in a head-to-toe sweat, drenching the waistband of my pajama bottoms.

Saturday morning, a few of us PFitters met at one of the running stores. They had a fashion show, and then offered us 20% off. They had some really cute things. And of course, they had nothing in my size in women's clothing. I was surprised to find out that they didn't have anything that fit my best pal J, who is much smaller, really, an average-sized American woman. "You know," she says, "I bet they'd sell a lot of clothes if they had a broader range of sizes". Well, duh. But who is making them?

One of my goals with losing a little weight this winter is not just gaining speed, but also being able to buy cute women's workout wear. I want to be able to buy clothes, not mail-order, but in a store—and not socks! I am so far away from that. I am trying to get there, but I am so far away.

I looked at exercise equipment afterwards. Treadmills, ellipticals, stationary bikes. Fun. Love working out on the machines in a store. I don't know that I'm getting any closer to buying. I keep thinking, I could get up at 4:30, and I could drive to the gym and workout a couple hours and drive the car back home (or somewhere—I can't afford to park downtown), and then I think—how realistic is that, really?

bicycling

2004-11-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

I biked into work this morning. I felt a bit creaky—no doubt from yesterday's walk, Monday's bruises, and not having ridden in a couple weeks—but it also felt pretty good.

The bruises from Monday have really come out now. On the bad arm, I have a big swollen green bruise from wrist to just above the elbow. The shoulder, which I had iced immediately, doesn't look great, but looks nowhere near as bad as the one a bit lower on that arm. I'll see the chiropractor today, who can give me a better idea how much damage I did, exactly.

Stepometer

2004-11-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

My sweetie and I saw my mom in May. We talked a lot about walking—we were both doing PFit at that point, and had that beginner's zeal. Mom mentioned that she had got a stepometer at McDonalds, and that she was enjoying wearing it.

At that point, I owned a pair of walking shoes and that was it. No pedometer, no heart rate monitor, no garmin, no technical fabric clothes, no hydration system.

Anyways, fast forward to the trip last week. Mom gave me her stepometer. Like the rest of my pedometers, it's off, running about a third high, but it's still kinda fun to see the numbers.

Yesterday, I hit 36 thousand. So that's probably really 24,000 steps. In one day. Not too bad!

25K

2004-11-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I just got back from doing a 25K, or 15.5 miles for those of you playing along at home. I did the whole long, slow distance thing, so it took me over 5 hours.

(The map to the right will give you an idea -- though the purple line is not the route I took)

The weather was beautiful--a perfect day to be outside moving around. I went from the beginning to the end of Alameda Blvd, and then up and around Rocky Butte, and back.

I didn't have any sort of real discomfort until I had been walking about 4 hours, which I thought was great. My goth toe was uncovered and unhappy, and my legs were tired, but otherwise I felt like I could walk on and on.

This route was interesting as there were a number of hills involved, not the least being Rocky Butte. When left to my own devices, I like to charge up hills, which I'm not convinced is the right way to tackle them. I tried today to keep my heart rate at my walking pace, which meant slowing down a bunch--really slow. I was pleased with as well as I did, and surprised how fast I had to scramble to make the heart rate going downhill.

Afterwards, I went to breakfast at my favorite place, that I usually can't get into on the weekends, and then took the bus home. Now I'd like to nap <grin>!

Fresh slate

2004-11-10T08:35:00.000-08:00

Well. Yesterday I went for an hour-long walk with Jill, which felt great at the time, but afterwards I had a headache as well as the it-hurts-to-think/move/breathe fullbody sensation. I ended up bailling on the Anthony Bourdain talk and dinner because I felt so icky. I had planned the trip to my mom's around this event. I am seriously bummed.

But today is a new day, right? Fresh slate, all that. I managed to get out of the house at 6:15 and onto the bus downtown, so I made it to the gym by 6:45. It felt like old-home day -- all the Wednesday morning regulars were there. I decided I would do as much of the upperbody workout as I could without causing myself pain, and I did manage to get through a lot of it. And then I got some quality time on the treadmill.

A cool thing -- Mark, the RBF Godfather has created a running blog map. If you want to be listed, Mark has how to participate in his blog, natch.

grumble

2004-11-09T10:01:00.000-08:00

I feel, still, pretty stoopid. Oh my gosh, I can't even think and walk down the stairs. This does not bode well for me. So I hurt, almost universally all over. My eyes hurt. I wonder, really, how hard I landed on my head. My walk to the bus this morning hurt.

I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about this, but I'm having a hard time forgiving myself this.

I'm trying to look at the good side of this. I did manage to clean and declutter a quite a bit last night before I did my gymnastics. I brought about half of the clothes upstairs. I have a backpack full of magazines to bring to the gym, and I cleaned up about half a grocery bag of newspapers.

I read a forum thread about buying a treadmill, and then did some further reading at Runner's World where they say, don't put your exercise equipment in the basement—out of sight, out of mind. They're right: I hate my basement and I doubt even with "remodeling" that it would be that pleasant a place to hang out.

Oh. And I got my student loan payment thingee. Payments start next month, and they're 2/3rds of my mortgage cost. Sigh. I get a raise next month, but I doubt it's a 2/3rds of the mortgage type raise.

Sweetie and I had talked about goals over the weekend, and for both of us, we wanted to eat better and eat at home most of the time, unlike our current bad behavior of eating out as a habit. We figured it would save us some cash too, that we could put into the house. Or, the student loan payment.

Argh!

2004-11-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

Do you ever experience that slow-mo sensation, that everything has slowed waaaaay down, and yet you can do nothing to change it? The future is already written, you just have to follow-through, and you're powerless to do anything different?

Well. Not the greatest day. Missed the pilates class when a manager came in to chat. Came home, let the dog out, and started cleaning house, you know, at a fat-burning heart rate. Taking pieces of clothing upstairs, one at a time. Natasha, one of the cats, was making a game of plopping in front of me at the top of the stairs. I was trying to discourage this, and I was coming down the stairs thinking that I might step on her (bad) or that I might trip over her (bad). And then all of the sudden, I was tumbling down the stairs.

I feel pretty stoopid about this. I bruised both arms, my knees, and one shoulder is really unhappy. I hurt now, two hours later--what will I feel like in the morning?

Goals

2004-11-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

One of the many nice things about visiting my mom includes having the downtime to think about goals. As either Mom or I was sick at all times during this visit, we had lots of time to sit in front of the TV. Since we have really different tastes, and Mom controlled the remote, we mostly watched what she wanted: Lifetime, and Court TV. I'd try not to watch, and daydream.

Essentially, I've committed myself to a course of improvement.

Working on the outside of the house: we have a failed tropical-scary garden in the front yard. It's overgrown and overtaken by wisteria and fennel. Everything must go! At least, somewhere else. I am torn about having a wildly exuberant front yard--I want it, but I don't do the work. I need to remember that, and not move in that direction again!
How to make it happen: spend 15 minutes a day on it. Work on only one thing at a time.

Working on the downstairs: my clutter is everywhere. My horde of magazines threaten to fall off shelves, and are dragged around by cats. I want to get the house back into sufficent shape that if someone says they're coming over, I or Sweetie don't totally freak.
How to make it happen: spend 15 minutes a day on it. Work on only one thing at a time.

Getting a toolshed: We have no garage, no carport, no shed. The lawnmower lives on the basement stairs, and the bikes in the living and laundry rooms. Our laundry room is full of garden tools. This stuff has got to go!
How to make this happen: we've priced sheds. Now we need to figure out how big we need, and where it will work in the yard.

Lose some weight: I realized that while I was hoping to lose weight, I was just hoping. To really do this, I need to have a plan, goals, etc.
How to make this happen: my goal is to lose 3 pounds every 2 weeks. I'd love something more dramatic, but realistically, well, I gotta be realistic. I have a job and workout goals and other things going on. I plan to concentrate on eating whole foods and lots of veggies, eat more frequently, and eat smaller portions

Workout more: this piggybacks with the losing weight--I want/need to do more fatburning exercise. This works well with needing to do more LSD walking.
How to make this happen: ugh. Keep biking to work, keep squeezing in exercise whenever I can, start looking at how else I can exercise now that it's dark whenever I am off work (like active housework, decluttering, walking the loop around my first floor).

Clean up part of the basement so I can get some exercise equipment: this piggybacks with the shed, and with exercise. Once the shed is there, I'll be able to get down into the basement, and start cleaning. Right now, the stairs and the basement are an obstacle course.

Do you think I have enough on my plate?

Is it time for a nap yet?

2004-11-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back at work, and I am so very happy to be here. Out the windows, the trees are all crimson, and everything looks soft and smudged in the fog. I still have the crud, and got winded with grocery shopping and cooking yesterday--and I feel no better, so I didn't ride in or even visit the gym.

Which fills me with panic, honestly. I'd like to do the Seattle Marathon's half 11/28, but between the trip and the crud, I haven't been putting in the mileage. And I know I have to. And I don't know if this is just a cold, and I'll feel crappy for a full week no matter what I do, or something else that might respond positively or negatively to activity or rest.

I'll do pilates on my lunch, and I had thought about having a long session on the treadmill tonight, but I guess we'll see.

I'm baaacck!

2004-11-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

I'm tired and I have a bit of a cold, but it was a good trip. A trip where I got the stomach flu, and Mom had a cold. I did two hour-long walks, outside of pacing in airports, and I "ice skated" for the first time since I was a teenager. I put that in quotes because it was more like 'go forward on skates for 50 ft, grab the side of the rink' rather than any sort of real skating, and let me tell you, it was hard. But it was dead fun, and I spent the rest of the trip trying to figure out how I could get back to the rink.

My road rash is still there, but much less painful; my goth toe lost its nail.

It's always good to see my mom, and always nourishing to see the area where she lives, which just looks right on a cellular level. But the conservatism and homogeneity make it really hard to spend a lot of time there. Here's a weird example (that really has nothing to do with conservatism or homogeneity, but hey) that happened this trip:

Mom asked me what I wanted for Xmas, and I couldn't think of anything. (Sure, there's stuff I want, like technical fabric clothes, and home exercise equipment, but... ) Well, how about magazines, she asks, knowing magazines are cheap and something that I seem to never think I have enough of. Runner's World came immediately to mind, and do you think we could find a copy anywhere in her town? Well, um, we did find two copies--one at the library (yay, library!), and one at the Waldenbooks--but that was a copy from September.

At WalMart, we saw a copy of Running Times, which I immediately bought. I had never seen that outside of a sports store, so imagine my surprise (I only go to WalMart with my mom). While I do buy RT, I don't do it with the compulsive regularity of RW.

Even at the not-so-small regional airport two-and-a-half hours away -- no RW.

We landed in Chicago, and not only was it a balmy 55 degrees, immediately I saw African Americans, mixed-race couples, people who weren't Christian, gay men and lesbians. I immediately felt about 50 lbs lighter. People were smiling at me, and I am sure I was smiling back. And the first newsstand: the new Runner's World.

One thing that I had not expected was my mom's pride in my having done a marathon. I chatted with one of my favorite aunts, who congratulated me on doing Portland, and said, 'You've walked 26 miles, you know, Vicki, you can do anything, anything at all'. Wow. A quilting buddy who came by said something similarly complimentary.

Dear Rodale

2004-11-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Rodale,
I purchased Women's Health (you and improved) with some enthusiasm. If you want me to become a regular subscriber, here is what I want to see:

an emphasis on health, primarily the areas that Rodale does so well with other publications: running, cycling, fitness, nutrition, supplements

I don't want to read or see spreads on fashion or makeup. I don't want to know what he won't tell me or sexy things I can do with him or for him or why opposites attract. I don't want to know how to dress slimmer, or why layered hair is good--every other women's, and notably women's fitness, magazine already does this.

I don't mind diet stuff, but that shouldn't be the emphasis of the magazine. Start from the idea that women are okay the way they are, but they want to be healthier, stronger, more fit, more successful.

in the best of all possible worlds, you would be like the original Women's Sports and Fitness, targeting an audience of all active (and wannabe) intelligent women, or like Dandelion (ditto)

there's an audience waiting for a new mainstream women's health magazine--but this isn't it. This is a weird mating of Men's Health and any women's fitness magazine out there. We're smarter than that--and so are you

last day

2004-10-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

This blog will go silent from October 29-November 8

Today is my last day before the trip. My mind is going a million miles a minute thinking about things I gotta do, things I wanna do, things I should do before I leave. I had lots of excuses for not riding in this morning, but the fact that my mind races seemed to be an excellent argument for doing it anyway.

So I did ride in. Maybe this is becoming a habit! It's overcast and chilly, but not an unpleasant day to ride. Usually, when I'm riding or walking, the talkative part of my brain lets up, and I can just watch and listen, which is why exercise outside is so soothing. This morning, the talkative part was especially manic. Oh well. I felt really good, really strong, and faster. And, I only had two SUVs try to turn into me!

In other important matters, can anyone recommend a walker-friendly marathon in January? I had thinking about doing the Las Vegas, but it looks distinctly un-slow-walker friendly. A cool destination is a plus.

Have a great weekend/week!

Cheating

2004-10-27T08:48:00.000-07:00

I did not ride in today. And I feel like I cheated! Whatta lazy bum! I have a work retreat to go to today, and if I biked, it meant I wouldn't see my beloved at all before I had to run off to my evening activity (tasting hamburgers. It's a hard life, isn't it?). I did do some walking, and I did do my upper body workout, a nice hard one, but I still feel like I didn't really get a workout in. And there is no chance of working one in later.

However. Every muscle in my body hurts. This is what happens when you do pilates once every two weeks.

Time is running out before my trip. I am still not packed, I am still obsessing about whether I should bring the running pants, getting a book for the plane, getting my nails done so they don't shred on the trip. Is there more? It seems like there should be. Just like being at an expo immediately before marathoning is dangerous to your wallet, there is the temptation (for me) to just buy a lot of stuff before a trip. Currently, I'm obsessing about buying sport bras, but should I manage that, there will be something else. It's just the nature of the beast.

Speaking of purchasing things, I had asked Jen of Where's my Body where she got her winter cycling gear, and bless her, she posted it. Of the sites she posted, I think I enjoyed Rivendell's the most. The descriptions of the items are so far from conventional marketing copy that it just makes my heart sing. I especially liked this "sweater".

Jayne Williams, the Slow Fat Triathlete update

Jayne was on the NPR program Only a Game, talking about triathons

her race report of the FIRMman Half-Ironman in Narragansett, Rhode Island

and her race report of the Meat Pie Triathlon

bye bye John Peel

2004-10-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

John Peel has left the building.

I rode in again this morning. I am very pleased with myself. It's now still dark at 7am, which makes me nervous riding, but perhaps the time change will help with that. I like riding the same route, and noting the changes that come day by day. A house that used to have overgrown bushes, and lots of weeds growing over them now has had all the bushes pulled out and there is lawn (and multiple John Kerry signs), looking very tidy and well-kept. The street person who sleeps in the doorway of the church office was getting up as I rode by. Sara was already at the Community Center gym. And another street person, sleeping on a bench, was sleeping under a great green quilt--every possible shade of green trimmed with this amazing chartreuse. Incredible!

rain

2004-10-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

Marshall, please forgive me -- thanks for the advice and wellwishing. Yow, I was thinking of you but somehow did not type your name...

I did pilates at lunch, which was tremendously uncomfortable. There's the goth toe on one foot, and the toes on my other feet also weren't that happy to move in a graceful and controlled way. Oh, and the road rash on my elbow still doesn't want any weight anywhere near it. And, it's just plain hard.

It was raining when I went to leave work, so I took the MAX part of the way home, which still meant I was soaked by the time I got home. And for some reason, I didn't want to drive to the gym to spend three hours on the treadmill. Oh my gosh, what was I thinking?

Tonight, I am trying to come up with a packing list. I'm a neurotic traveler -- I always overpack, I always end up bringing a heavy bag on the plane, and I am always trying not to overpack. I thought this just used to be about visiting family, but now that I do business trips, I go through the same obsessive stuff. Do I give in to my desire to have a different outfit for each day, now multiplied by two with my walking clothes? And what about the weather?? This is northern Michigan, fer heavens sakes!

thank you!

2004-10-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

thank you, Jon and Richard and Pam and Susan and Dianna for the well-wishing and advice on troublesome toes! My goth toe did great during the race, though it wasn't as happy once I was walking around Target in clogs.

I rode in again today. How long until it's a habit? Dunno. It felt good.

Yesterday morning, before the race, I looked at my belly and thought it looked, well, bigger. Then I put on my skort, and yes, I had to adjust the clasp. Damn it, I guess I was living too high on the hog, too many hamburgers and too much beer. But then I went to Target to get some mom-trip clothes, and I was surprised to see that I've gone down a size both top and bottom. Wuhoo!

Stay Fit (unfortunate name)--the off-season, non-official, PFit group--started up on Saturday. I got there late and ended up walking 3 miles on my own. I'm going mostly
for the social interaction--I doubt I'll be doing a lot of long slow distance work with them. So, I didn't manage to do my 8 miles over the weekend. I'm hoping to do it on the treadmill tonight (yuck).

Oh, the results were posted. And, they were different (read: not as excellent) than both what they had posted immediately after the race, and what I had timed myself at. Whatever. According to this new number, I did a 14.53 minute mile, which is a full half minute faster than anything I've done before. I was 12/13 in my age group, and 41/46 women, 69/76 overall. I'm happy.

This time it's personal

2004-10-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I just got back from the Great Pumpkin Chase, and I am thrilled. I PRed! 43:07.7 For those of you watching at home, that's a 13.89 minute mile. That's way faster than I've ever gone in a race. Wuhoo!

So, here's the longer version of the story. The 5K was a loop beginning and ending at a cool triathalon store in East County. The East County is well-known for strong persistent winds coming from the Columbia Gorge, even at times when it's still and windless in the city. It's frequently colder than the city as well.

So I go out onto my back porch this morning in my Run Against Bush t under my marathon "matrix" long-sleever and my skort, and I am dressed fine for the weather. It's cool, but excellent weather for a race. Mela and I get to the store, and it is FREEZING. It is really cold. So we go in the store. Everyone is hanging out in the store. There are teenagers, the cross-country team that is benefitting from this run no doubt, sacked out in the chairs and couches, and there are tons of adorable kids in adorable costumes, and even some adults in costume. And a lot of people wearing a runner's costume.

It's 9 o'clock, start time, so we go outside, and it's even #&*^)$% colder. And the race, a tiny, casually-organized event, doesn't start on time. We stand by the giant pancake griddles trying to stay warmer. At 9:20, the 5K actually begins.

I go to the very back of the line for obvious reasons, and an older woman compliments me on the matrix top. Oh did I do the marathon, oh yes I did. Oh she did it too. Well congratulations. Then she asks my time. I said, I was pretty slow. Oh, what was it? 9 hours, I said. Oh my G-d, she says, that's so slow, I finished in 7:58.07. She then asks if she can participate in this (like, do I look like I work at a triathelete supply shop?) and then just decides that, what can they do about it if she does.

May I just say--she's rude. On an event like this, with maybe 150 participants who have gotten t-shirts and socks and a pancake breakfast out of this, it's hard to see that there will be a whole lot of profit for the X-country team. And this rude woman is just going to take advantage of all the organization and planning that the store did for this, and not give them their $18? And of course, I was seriously seriously pissed about the slow remark.

Anyways, it starts and I am motivated to move fast. She starts blathering about 'oh my G-d, you walk so fast, how do you walk so fast', and I'm not sure if she's figured out that it's not cool to tell someone else they are slow and she's backpedalling, or if I am actually going fast, but it doesn't really matter. Soon she is talking about running--do I run? I do not, I tell her. A minute later, do I run? No, I don't. This happens multiple times. She finally starts jogging away. Fine.

Right now I am just thinking that I'll keep her in sight, and I'll surge past at the end. I'm moving well, feeling good, and my heart rate is up, but at a somewhat sustainable pace. The chill is a good motivator too. But I don't even need to strategize, because she never ends up more than about a block and a half ahead of me. The race has no markers for miles, so it's hard to know when to give it the gas.

At some point, a couple surge past me. They appear to not even be breaking a sweat. May I just say, I hate these people? And I want to be them when I grow up?

Probably at the 2 mile point, I catch up with her, and she's asking, did you run (okay, everyone, in a chorus: No I did not). Well, how did you catch up with me? which I don't answer because it's obvious. I chat with her for a minute or two, because I do not want to reveal the seething inside, and then I begin to speed up.

The woman who is walking with her says, are you going to let her beat you? And I am thinking, oh yeah, bring it on, but I say nothing. And the woman starts blubbering that I'm walking too fast, and after a couple more are you going to let her beat yous (yes, exact phrase), she says, yes, I will let her beat me.

Oh, really? #&*^ you! And I really let it loose. About a block from the finish line, I heard footsteps and I picked up again--it was a runner, finishing his 12K. I cross the finish line, and for such a tiny race, everyone is cheering. I get a slug of water and then wait for my pancakes--yum! Never ever tasted better pancakes.

Mela did well too, and so we are both coasting on the post-race endorphin rush-euphoria. Wuhoo! I can't believe I went that fast. That was fun!

And that woman? She came through a few minutes later. She must have thought I was a nice fat middle-aged lady, but that's where she got it wrong.

blustery

2004-10-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

I rode in again this morning. I look forward to when this won't seem like an accomplishment, but that may be a ways off. It was chilly and windy this morning, slow going, and there weren't many cyclists out.

My wipeout yesterday did not destroy the iPod. It appears no worse for the wear. Hurrah!

Here is the gratitious cat and dog picture. Nigella appears back to her old self, and here she is cowing the dog into submission.

I have the ballots here, ready to mail, our civic duty done!! As P. Diddy says, Vote or Die! (I don't know what the dying is about...)

I've been in a decluttering spree at home, and the most visible part of it is bringing about a dozen magazines in to the gym and our work magazine exchange. It feels so good to get them out of the house. At that rate, it will still be a couple of months before I denude the downstairs of magazines--I have a problem, friends, I'm not afraid to admit it. I am powerless before magazines. (prima)Gravida has been doing a ton of decluttering--very inspiring.

I posted to the PFit forum about my goth toe (black cuticle, black nail) and what should I do with/for it for the big race--so far, silence. What do you do when you get a goth toe? Is there a technical term for this?

road rash

2004-10-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

It had to happen. It was just a matter of time. I realized as I was getting on the bike to come home that I hadn't actually ridden up every hill. No, I had forgotten about the steep ramp coming out of the parking garage. Well, damn it, I've seen other people ride up that hill, I can do it too (what was that phrase, vanity coming before a fall?). So, I tried it, and I almost got all the way up before it was clear that I wasn't going to make it, and indeed, I fell over backwards, landing on my backpack and my elbow. I was mortified.

The parking garage guy, who is very nice, came over to assess the situation, and help me up. I was mortified. I was a mess. And it didn't seem right to take the bus or the train. No, I needed to chin up and just ride home. And I did. The road rash on my elbow--well, you don't want to hear my whining. I hear chicks dig scars (the boyfriend was mortified).

I rode home slowly. And, I actually encountered someone who rides slower than I do! Unfortunately, he was having an animated conversation, I think with himself, so I suppose I can't brag about this.

crazy about bike commuting

2004-10-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

Today's Oregonian newspaper had an article about how Portlanders are crazy about bike commuting. Check it out now-- they never have these articles up for long....
Bike commuters on a road well traveled : The number of Portlanders who'd rather pedal than drive is gaining and sees bonuses to boot

a real Oregon cyclist

2004-10-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I am now a real Oregon cyclist--I rode to work in the rain. Unfortunately, I didn't check the weather or walk onto the porch to check out the conditions, so I was without rain gear, and was soaked through by the time I got to work. But I rode in--in the sprinkles and showers!

I was really happy to get to the gym and climb on the treadmill for a while. And then take a long hot shower. Bliss!

Triumph!

2004-10-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

It's ended up being a very good afternoon.

One, I rode home. The emphasis on ride. As in, not walking up any hills. Not a single one, not a single time. It took me 38 minutes, which is 8 minutes longer than getting to work (I ride really slow), which is a new record. This totally kicked my ass, and I was so happy that I thought I'd float. Can't wait to bike again!

Nigella is home. She greeted me at the front door when I came home. She's been eating and drinking, and while she's not destroying things, I'm hopeful she'll resume that in the next day or so.

I signed up for a 5K on Sunday. Mela's doing it too. It's tiny and goofy and concludes with a pancake breakfast!

I went to the gym over lunch to work in my upperbody stuff, and decided to try the elliptical again. What a joke. This time, I tried a machine called the Free Runner, which I ran backwards with for awhile. It was weird, running and having absolutely no impact as you ran, which should be great, right? But your feet are in, I don't know, stirrups or foot cages or foot holders pointed straight down, which made my blackened toe rub against the end of my shoe. Not good. Not happy. So much for that idea.

Everyone seems to be sick. My sweetie -- very sick, most of the male Running Blogging Family members, sick, most of my coworkers, sick. I am hitting the vitamin c and zicam hard-- I really don't want to get sick.

I went to pick up some chinese take-out tonight, complete with the healing hot and sour soup. A guy came in right after me, and started to chat me up about my Helvetia Half Marathon t-shirt. It's weird--I don't think of myself as attractive, but I'm more confident than I was, and I no longer wear clothes that are two sizes too big. I was really uncomfortable. I'm sure the guy was just making conversation. It's no real surprise that I'm 100 pounds overweight, that weight--built up over years of not exercising much and eating too much--has protected me. I'm trying to change that. I will protect me--I don't need that fat anymore.

marathon training schedule - long walks

2004-10-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

10/23 - 08 miles
10/30 - 10 miles
11/06 - 10 miles
11/13 - 25K (15.5 miles)
11/20 - 09 miles
11/28 - Seattle half-marathon (13.1 miles)
12/04 - 11 miles
12/11 - 30K (18.6 miles)
12/18 - 9 miles
12/25 -11 miles
01/01 - 11 miles
01/08 - 21 miles
01/15 - 7 miles
01/22 - 5 miles
01/29 - marathon (26.2 miles)

(this assumes one full restday a week, plus walks on M, T & Th, crosstraining on W & F)

back on the bike

2004-10-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

I was running so very late this morning that I decided to take the bike. At first I thought that I had completely lost any conditioning that I had gained by bike commuting in September, and I started mentally kicking myself for not doing at least some biking, but then, suddenly, I seemed to hit my stride and everything was fine. It was a beautiful ride in, and for the first time in about a week, I felt content.

One of the diffuse goals that has been swimming around in my head is (re)designing this blog, and my thought for doing it was to have pictures of walking and riding surfaces: paths, thruways, streets, sidewalks. This may work out to be a great idea or a dumb one, but I started taking pictures this morning.

Goals:

get a blog up and running on my own domain by the beginning of the year (hopefully it'll be much sooner than that, but this is fairly low priority)

Seattle half-marathon, November 28

Destination marathon in January*

Nigella is still in the kitty hospital. We've gone way beyond the economic worse-case-scenerio and are now talking a decent vacation for two or a decent treadmill kind of money. This couldn't have come at a worse time, what with buying plane tickets to rural Michigan, and a month full of big bills. I had hoped to get a fluid trainer for one of the bikes, but that won't be happening this month. So there may not be a destination marathon in the future, but damn it, if I can, I will.

Her temperature was coming down yesterday. We're hoping that her fever will break today so she can come home.

partly cloudy

2004-10-19T13:43:00.000-07:00

There's been talk on the Running Blog Family about medals--what do you do with yours? All mine hang in the hallway from a post on the staircase. Well, all but the one to the left, which proudly hangs in the kitchen. It's my favorite.

I just went on a walk to the Technical Bookstore. It's drizzling off and on, and Portland smells bad. Yikes. Still, nice to get another little walk in.

I finally made the plans to go see my mom in a few weeks, but I'm going to miss all of the halloween runs, sadly. I'm also going to miss Slug Velo's Fall Color Saunter. I learned about Slug Velo (subtitle: We're Slow. We're Sociable. We're Slug Velo!) in Oregon Cycling Magazine, and I gotta say, this sounds like my kind of group. I'm bummed that I'll be outta town for this month's ride.

I'll also be at Mom's for the election. Thank heavens Oregon is a vote by mail state!

Tuesday

2004-10-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

Hi. I did another nice slow workout this morning, 30 minutes of slowness on the treadmill. For fun, I tried the elliptical trainer, which I seem to lack the inherent coordination to be able to use correctly. Oh well. I'm looking forward to a longer workout over lunch, and hoping it will give me the boost I so thoroughly need.

Nigella is still in kitty hospital, still with a high fever.

I am so underwhelmed. Hopefully I'll catch a first wind soon.

insert title here

2004-10-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the suggestions on the blog software issue. I'm no further along in my decision making, but hey. I do appreciate the input.

Perhaps this is post-marathon blues? It doesn't help that the weather has turned grey and drizzly and overcast.

Last night I went to the airport to pick up Mela. The airport is kinda stressful in the best of circumstances, and last night as I stood at the shute that the arrivees descend out of, I was filled with desperation. Had she already come through and I missed her? Was this even her flight? Where was she? I saw soldiers coming through, being greeted with all manner of flags and red-white-and blue balloons and lots of picture taking, and I wondered--were they back from Iraq? Afghanistan? There was a small child behind me with an even smaller flag which he was beating against the carpet until his father asked him to "please, be nice to the flag". I had to crack up.

We did finally find each other after she had been sitting outside for about 5 minutes, and then we couldn't find the car, and finally in the car, we decided to get pho at Pho Van, and it was closed. We ended up at the Takahashi, a funky little japanese diner/sushi bar, and we both had the tension soothed out of us with ramen, tofu agedashi and tempura.

I took a personal day this morning. Maybe it's just the emotional stuff but my body feels tired and cranky as well. I took one of the cats to the vet, and there she is staying. This is Nigella, the destructobot young cat who is always begging for food or aggressively demanding attention or chasing her sister or destroying things, who, for the last couple days has done nothing but sleep. She has a 105 degree temperature which is high for a healthy young cat, and was a bit dehydrated, so they are keeping her "in hospital" with an IV drip. Poor little thing.

So now I wait by the phone to hear how she is. I wish I could go get a workout in.

blue

2004-10-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's overcast outside, and I'm a little blue. Not sure what I want. Am I hungry? Or queasy?

I've spent the morning looking at blog software. I've been a little frustrated with blogger--the fact that sometimes you can't be sure if a post has been made, or a blog is unavailable, etc. I need something that isn't going to take a weekend to install, that will have categories, that will allow multiple blogs, that will scale. Someday, I'd like to take the alt.portland guide, and database it, and I think blog software like Movable Type might do that quite gracefully. But Movable Type sounds like a nightmare to install.

Have you installed a CMS/blog software on your ISP? What did you choose and why? How was/is the experience?

I think I need to get a walk in before it starts to pour again. That's bound to make me feel better.

slow but happy

2004-10-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

I dreamt last night that I walked a marathon, and that it went smoothly and without histronics. I started slow, I built speed, and as I came off the St. Johns Bridge, I was fresh and rarin' to go. I came to the wall, acknowledged it, then went on through. My body was made to do this.

I know where this came from. Among other things, I had just such a pleasant, relaxing evening with my sweetie. He was happy, I was happy. I read my blogs as usual, and I was happy and amazed that Marshall was feeling great after his 50 miler -- how impressive is that? I wanna be like him when I grow up!

Richard from Running Towards Fitness talked about the need for doing long slow distance running to build up aerobic capacity. That in turn made me think about Stu Mittleman's Slow Burn which I haven't finished, and I should probably give more thought to.

So this morning at the gym, I did my upperbody workout, and then hit the treadmill, set very slow. As usual, my ego is my worst enemy. My ego wants me to prove how fast and strong I am--hey, I'm fat, but look at what I can do. My ego does not want to go slow. I have to remind myself that no one is paying attention to me, and even if they are, who cares? It's all the usual suspects at the gym when I'm there, all obsessively caught up in their own workout, or a magazine or both.

I've been warned that it takes 6 weeks to see significant change, and 20 or more to get to where I need to be. I have the time to fix this, if I start now. --Richard

6 weeks would mean I should see some improvement for a January marathon. Damn!

treadmill

2004-10-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

I had a nice short session on the treadmill this morning. The gym had the new issue of Fast Company, which I thumbed through as I ambled along. I also looked out the window and watched people go by. Very pleasant. It didn't feel like a real workout--it wasn't tough, I didn't get my heart rate very high, and it didn't last long--but right now it's just a matter of getting the mileage in, and letting myself recover from the marathon.

My weight has dropped a little. 239. 4 pounds more and I will have lost my library school gain. While the six months of walking training really reshaped my body and I lost inches, my weight stayed frustratingly static. I know my weight affects everything, most prominently speed, and I'm all about getting faster, stronger, and the rest of that.

I feel like I'm phoning it in, right now. I just feel tired and a little bummed and not too terribly interested in anything. I guess it makes sense--I had been pushing myself pretty hard over the last week or more, and I've been so focused on marathon and then magazine (the work project) that now that they are both over, I'm not sure what I should be doing with myself. This too shall pass.

woohoo, walk!

2004-10-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to finally note that I am done with my project. Sure, I have lots of tweaking I could and should do, but the necessary part of it is over, so I can go and find some new stress. Woo hoo!

I got done with said project at 1:30 (the absolute deadline was 3pm). A little too close for comfort. I went and got a sandwich and sat in the sun, in the beautiful, beautiful weather, and I wanted to go to bed. For the night. I felt so exhausted.

I never did make it to the gym, but I went for a nice walk this evening. I decided to meet my sweetie up at the chiropractor, which I'm guessing is 3 miles away. I am reading the Runner's World
Complete Book of Women's Running, and they had a heart monitor tip in there, to warm up, then get your heart rate up to 75%, then bring it back down to 60%, repeat.

I learned that it's really easy to get my heart rate up to 75%... and really hard to get it back down to 60% afterwards. I spent a lot of time walking very slowly. Watching the HRM really makes the 43 minutes fly.

So does this mean I'm out of shape? Still recovering from the marathon? I don't know. It's just something else to work on.

everything

2004-10-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

May I just say, everything aches today? It does. Abdomen, check. Quads and hamstrings, check. Strange new muscles in hips, check. Arms, uh huh.

Today is the big day. I have three meetings, on top of a presentation, but my real hope is that I will finish my project, and get to go to the gym. Hope, hope, hope.

a night off

2004-10-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

I still haven't made my deadline (though my deadline deadline is tomorrow), but I'm taking the evening off. I'm hitting the wall, as far as work goes—all weekend, all day yesterday and today, and last night. I wish I were done with it, but it's nice to ~~have~~ take an evening off. My sweetie and I went out for comfort food and beer this evening, and he talked about the great professional development thing that he went to, and I talked about this project. At least his PD thing was interesting.

In catching up with my blogs, I learned that I missed the Great Columbia Crossing, a 10K which crosses the Columbia from Washington into Oregon. Last year my pal Mela ran it in horizontal rain. The timing is bad, a week after the Portland Marathon, but I'm a sucker for a bridge, and I'd like to do it sometime.

I also learned that the Royal Victoria is beautiful and challenging. I wanna do it! Why are there so many fun events in October?

So, today, instead of doing a spinning class, a couple of us from work decided to walk up to another coworker's house on Council Crest. This is one of our larger hills here in town, with the top around 1100 feet above sea level (downtown is 20 ft above sea level). We were going to take a bus, but then, well, it didn't happen, so we walked up the hill. About 45 minutes into the walk, which was straight up hill, up Vista St, my coworker mentioned the time, and I freaked out. 45 minutes and we weren't there yet?!? It was at that point that I bailed. Both shins are complaining this evening, and I thought I re-screwed up my ankle in the walk down the hill, but I'm hoping that's not the case.

Shoot. We could walk to my house, not up hill (unless you're riding a bike :)) in less than 45 minutes. I love hills, and this really kicked my butt, so I've been obsessed with tackling it again. This makes Terwilliger seem like kids stuff. And I will tackle it again...

limbo

2004-10-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

My deadline has come and gone, and I am still feverishly working. Sigh. I'm not letting myself really think about the future—of anything—until I get this done.

So, yesterday I went to a Pilates class. First time I've done a gym group class, first time I've done anything like pilates, and boy, did it kick my ass. I expected to be in real pain today, but I'm just achey in places—and strangely enough, not in my stomach. I may try the spinning class today, depending on my stress level. (now that oughta really hurt!)

This morning, I did the cross-country ski machine, my old favorite for getting my ass kicked. I get all caught up in watching all the numbers—goal rate versus actual speed, distance, calories burned, time—that the time always flies.

I want to think about goals. I want to figure out when I can see my mom. I want to get some perspective on what's up for the next year at work. I gotta come up for air soon.

pilates

2004-10-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

Damn, that's hard!

results

2004-10-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

Date	Event	Distance	Time	Pace
10/3/2004	Portland Marathon	26.2 mi	8:56:49	20:28
9/19/2004	Race for the Cure	5K	50:04	16:07
8/8/2004	Bridge Stride	6 mi	1:34	15.67
8/1/2004	Run Hit Wonder (Portland)	10K	1:47:19	17:16
7/29/2004	Columbia Classic	5K	47:29	15:17
7/4/2004	Foot Traffic Flat	13.1 m	3:53:03	17:47
6/19/2004	Helvetia Half	13.1 m	3:59:07	18:14

stress

2004-10-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

So, I did work all weekend, and I'm still not done. This may be the first time I've missed a deadline at this job after 5 years. My level of freak-out-ed-ness about this seems to swing radically.

Knowing that today may well be reeeeeeeeeaaaally stressful, I went for a good hard upper-body workout this morning. It was great—it totally kicked my ass. I've decided to add bench presses to the workout in the hopes that the next time I encounter a pump and run, I'll be able to do it. I have a ways to go before I'll be there.

I've decided if I get stressed during the day, I'm just going back to the gym. That time will pay for itself in productivity.

Now I feel all fresh and loose. Let the games begin!

working from home

2004-10-09T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm starting late, but I'm just about to start working on work. My hope is to work straight through until I get it all done, which will hopefully be some time this evening, so I can have tomorrow as a free day. I doubt I'll get so lucky, I have a lot to do. But that's my plan.

The marathon folks are being slow about posting times and photos. I did see that they updated my personal record:

Division: 40-44 Division Place: 519

SPLIT	TIME	PACE	PLACE
10K:	1:48:19	17:25
15k:	2:38:05	16:57
Half Marathon:	3:53:29	17:48
FINISH:	8:56:49	20:28	6110

Gun Time: 9:02:25

This down time is killing me. The ankle continues to improve, and I am mentally going stir-crazy. Yesterday, work was stressful, and I had no outlet to flush it out of me, so I ended up doing some housecleaning. You know I'm losing it when the answer is cleaning the house.

But, there is lots of racing to do vicariously. Marshall pointed out the Complete Running Calendar. I'm also cheering on a bunch of PFitters who are racing the Royal Victoria Marathon et al tomorrow. Woohoo!

walk this way

2004-10-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

I am so thirsty for information about walkers and walking. Where is this information? Where is this community? It has to exist.

Marshall and I exchanged emails the other day, and one of the things that came up was blogging walkers. Where are they? Is it just he and I (him and me)? We both follow runners' blogs to get our fix of athletism. It's not right. I know plenty of serious walkers--so why aren't they blogging?

Am I just living under a rock? Please let me know.

Everyday, I check the forums on PFit. Now that PFit is over for the year, the messages are going to slow down, and then what am I going to do? Hang out on the womens' boards on Runners World? Well, yeah, probably.

Speaking of Runners World, there is a great article on Curt Clausen, the top US racewalker, in the November 2004 issue. I couldn't find it online, but it's called The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Walker. I did find a NPR story, pre-Olympics, called Walking -- Fast -- Toward an Olympic Dream, and also, this wonderful quote:

"I walked a marathon once," Olympic speed walker Curt Clausen recalled, "where there was this marine who took off [running] and said, 'I'll have a heart attack before I let you beat me.' Of course, less than a mile later, I blew by him and beat him by more than 20 minutes."
from Maxim, Aug. 2004

craziness

2004-10-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

My ankle is doing better, thanks for asking. It's much less swollen, I have better flexibility, and I can walk without too much limping. Oy!

I finally finished Heft on Wheels. It was a fun read. To summarize (though not as entertainingly as in 30 seconds with bunnies or with kittens or spongemonkeys):

author is fat, smoker, alcoholic, who likes to bike

another biker says the author is too slow

author decides to prove him wrong

author quits smoking, drinking and eating

author overtrains

author loses a ton of weight and meets personal goals

author gets hit by a truck

The end! Magnuson has a great voice, and is very likable. Mostly, what I've come away with is that bike riding gets easier when you weigh less (well, duh!), and that you gotta avoid motor vehicles.

As much as I'd like to get on the overtraining bandwagon, I am going to be spending most of my evenings and weekend working on work. I have an insane deadline. I knew this was coming--it's just not terribly pretty.

things are looking up

2004-10-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Things are looking up around here. Listen to this!

my ankle is hurting less and I have more flexibility!

they are finally demolishing the King Food Mart!

the gym had the latest issue of Runner's World!

I had a great upper-body workout!

I can't tell you how relieved I am that my ankle is feeling better. It still hurts to walk on it, but at least it doesn't hurt so much just existing. And, after, what, five years or so of being closed, it's so wonderful to see the wrecking ball taking down the King Food Mart.

I suppose I owe some backstory here. The KFM has been an eyesore forever--a magnet for crime, drugdealing, prostitution, etc etc. Once the KFM was closed, things started settling down in my neighborhood. That isn't to say that there aren't regular flareups of obvious drugdealing and prostitution, but it's not constant any more. Still, for everyone I know in the neighborhood, the KFM has represented everything we've worked so hard to get away from. And now, finally, it's really going away.

I feel like I'm in limbo. I have to take it easy, I don't know when I'll be able to do anything really, I can't really make any plans for walking. Frustrating. This will pass. At least for now, I'll live vicariously through Marshall and his big ultra race in Kansas this weekend (he's gonna do great!!).

Hollie had mentioned another blog the other night that I should check out, Lexysmash. So I did check it out, and check this out! Here's an entry about Hollie and here's a gallery of pics of Hollie marathoning (as in, at the Portland Marathon on Sunday). Now, check this out--all those pictures are of Hollie after mile 21--is that fair? She looks like she's just out for a jog!

rest, ice, compression, elevation

2004-10-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm icing my ankle. It's elevated too. Damn uncomfortable! I had to walk a couple blocks to lunch today and my right leg clearly and directly expressed its displeasure. Ugh.

I've been checking the marathon results page regularly, hoping that my results will be posted, but it appears that time has stoppped. The same 500 women have been on the women's overall, the same 14 20-39 145-159# athenas, etc. I checked under my bib number and got my first half splits, which weren't bad when you consider that I was being leisurely.

Distance	Time	Pace
10K:	1:48:19	17:25
10 Mile:	2:38:05	16:57
Half Marathon:	3:53:29	17:48

back at work

2004-10-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'm back at work. Still with a swollen, unhappy ankle, but otherwise 'rarin to go.

Some of my coworkers have been so sweet, I'm just overwhelmed. One initiated a congratulations card, several have come in and asked for the gory details... I, of course, am wearing my finisher t-shirt and medal under a blouse.

After a day of telecommuting yesterday, I left the house and went to the bragging party. Silly me, I went fashionably late, an hour and a quarter into it, and missed a bunch of pals, but I was able to see my coaches and a number of the ACs. At one point, I welled up--I was surprised how emotional I was. Even though I don't know any of these folks well, I have this emotional bond to the group, and I was happy that we had done what we came to do, and sad that it was all over.

I'm surprised this morning, too, how emotional I am. It's really incredible.

I have a few pics that my sweetie took up on Flickr if you are interested:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/52805841@N00/sets/18131/

getting by with a little help from my friends

2004-10-04T11:01:00.007-07:00

or, the best laid plans
or, how not to do a marathon

In the morning, before the marathon, I read some of John Bingham's Marathoning for Mortals. He was talking about the need to develop three race-day strategies. One, for the perfect day, a second for a day that could be better, and a third for a day that couldn't be worse.

I had a strategy, and I thought I was flexible. I didn't think anything really about what I read, as in, this might be foreshadowing...

The day started off great. I woke up at four, had had a great night's sleep, had breakfast and coffee and time to fuss over my gear, and got downtown at about 5:50. I met up with the PFit folks, met an Assistant Coach I've been corresponding with, and generally had a bang up time. I hit the porta-potties 4 times before the start, because I just wanted to get it all out of my system.

I walked initially with two PFitters that I hadn't met before--we all had the goal of starting very slow and pouring it on at the end. They were great company. All along the beginning of the route there were crowds cheering and bands playing, and quite frequently cheerleaders. I was tremendously happy to see the radical or anarchist cheerleaders there, most of which were in the chubby continuum, cheering "Fit and Fat, we're down with that!".

At several points, we got to see other competitors. Coming down Front, we got a great view of the marathoning wheelchairs and the 5 milers, which was really incredible. There was one woman with a walker (as in, the assistance device) doing the 5 miler--now that's conviction.

The morning was cool and clear, with a nice breeze. I was busy chatting, looking for folks to cheer on and the like, as well as enjoying the music. By nine miles, I was about 4 minutes behind my splits times, which was right about where I wanted to be.
But I realized that I was dehydrated--at least, I should have realized that. I increased the water and the gatorade (though in retrospect, not enough).

But by the time I hit about ten miles, I started feeling a hot spot on the ball of my right foot. And I thought, maybe I should stop at the next medic station and have them treat it. Of course, I've never stopped to treat a blister or hot spot in a long walk, and it didn't occur to me that it might be a bad thing to try out.

I stopped at the medic, this one sponsored by a blister pad company, and lost about 10 minutes while she put the pad on my foot. Immediately afterwards, I knew this was the wrong thing as it was hurting much more. But I trudged on. Once I hit the halfway point, I tried to pick up speed--not a lot, but I was setting goals to pass people in a leisurely fashion, and I did.

I was doing a Gu every 3 miles, and sipping off a Gatorade. By the time I hit Checkpoint Charlie, where you have to have a marathon bib to be able to cross the bridge, I was feeling seriously nauseous, and afraid to have any more gatorade or Gu.

(Now I realize that in the past, I would do a Gu every 45 minutes, but I'd have diluted gatorade or powerade or better yet Smart Water, which contains no sugar. Don't change anything!)

By the time I got to the St. Johns Bridge, I saw my original companions again, who commented on how badly I was limping. Oh, shit. Still, I was okay. That was mile 17.

Mile 18, my beloved was waiting for me, with a new water bladder and sports drink. Luckily, that sports drink included Smart Water, so I took that. I got a tremendous amount of encouragement from seeing him just for the brief time, and I had been looking forward to it, counting down the miles.

Mile 19, I decided to detour into the portapotties, and once I got off my gear, there were Hanna and James. Oh my gosh! I wasn't expecting to see them, but I was so very very very happy to see them. They gave me a lot of encouragement, told me I looked good and fresh, basically said all the right things and smiled at me, and hugged me. Yay!

I learned soon after that I was really dehydrated. I was still also really nauseous, so even water was kinda iffy. So I trudged on. Marathon officials started moving us onto the sidewalks, which meant I had to be looking down at the uneven pavement rather than straight ahead.

By mile 20, I was really in pain, and I decided to see the medics again. The medic took a look at my foot, tore off the blister pad, and told me the ball of my foot was entirely raw. There's nothing I can do for this, she said, except coat your foot in vaseline--it's going to hurt, but hopefully this will help.

As I limped away I realized that my shoe was tied too tight. I loosened it, and then I started to bawl. I wasn't going to make it, there was no way I was going to make it, all I wanted to do was finish the marathon, but I wasn't going to make it. I tried to think of honorable ways to bow out--like being hit by a car, or somehow seriously messing up my feet. I was coming up to the photographers, and I started shouting, no pictures, no pictures, please don't take my picture.

Who knows. I was wearing my sunglasses and hat--perhaps it wasn't obvious that I was crying harder than I can remember crying since my father's funeral.

I bawled and bawled, and then a car pulled alongside the road. It was Anne and Rachel with the baby. Anne jumped out and hugged me, and walked with me, very slowly. She asked me about how marathoners motivate themselves. Oh, go the next mile, get to the next aid station, get to the next tree, I said. Okay. Why don't we go to the next aid station, it's just a couple blocks up, she said.

So we made it to the mile 21 aid station, the PFit aid station. There were two folks that I didn't recognize at all, and Jone, my best walking pal, who hadn't done the marathon because she did a 60K about a month ago and blackened a toe. I was still bawling, but Anne, a nurse, switched into medical professional mode, and had me sit so she could take off my shoe. Her assessment was similar to the one at mile 20, but she cut out moleskin to go around the blister, which stretched across the ball.

I cried for about the next mile, while Anne tried to encourage me with buddhist philosophy and Jone told me about her marathon experiences. I tried to contact my sweetie, but he was already downtown. And he had Jill's number, so I couldn't call her.

By mile 22, I was doing okay. I was no longer crying, I was moving a little faster, and I was even able to make conversation with other marathoners.

There was a group of two women and a man--the man had an old external frame backpack on, wearing sandals. They were sweet. I had passed them and they had passed me several times at this point, but it didn't seem to be a competition for them. They had lots of homemade goodies they were noshing on, and they were all in great spirits.

Anne and Rachel tagteamed with me til about mile 23, but Jone, bless her soul, walked me in. It was tremendously encouraging, because she'd stop about every mile and move her car, and each time she'd come up and say, hey, you're moving faster, you're gonna make it. And at some point, I started to believe that too.

Going up and down the curbcuts was murder! My toes were hurting, my shins were hurting, and of course the bottom of my feet felt, well, worse than hamburger. I heard from my beloved and was able to let him know that it might be an hour before I'd cross the finish line.

While I was on the Steel Bridge, I heard from Mela, who had just finished her marathon and was quickly prepping for a business trip (she left within about 20 minutes of her call). And then I heard from my sweetie again, and I was able to say those magic words -- I'm on the Steele Bridge. Jone walked with me down Front, to Salmon where we met up with my beloved and Jill, and they all walked me in.

It was great to cross the finish line and to hear them announce my name--pronounced correctly! I collected a bag full of food, a medal, and a space blanket, and then headed home.

I was unable to tolerate the ice bath (I'm going to try again this morning), I started cramping up horribly, I was hot and cold, and then I got heartburn (maybe my choice of dinner wasn't so smart). My sweetie kept doting on me, taking care of me, it was lovely.

And this morning? I feel better than I thought I would. My arms and stomach are sore. My thighs feel fine. My left calf feels fine. My right shin is killing me. And I have a blister on each foot (though my left foot blister is small and inconsequential).

I asked my beloved last night to remind me how miserable I was when I start talking about doing marathons again. He said, oh I know you, you'll do more. I'm afraid he's right. I did so much wrong this time that I'd like to redeem myself...

finish time: 8:57:02

night before!

2004-10-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

So, a miracle happened. The nail lady, and my blessed saint of a hair dresser both worked on me at the same time. My entire head is now ultra violet, and my nails are "black tie optional", a dark purple. I am a goth princess! Or something.

I had a great time with A&A at the Greek Festival, and we noshed on some yummy stuff. Then I ran (almost literally) to the bus tour. The bus seemed to have very few folks from Portland on it -- most had traveled for the marathon, including the Silicon Valley chapter of Asha for Education (a secular organization which raises money towards basic education in India in the belief that education is a critical requisite for socio-economic change). I sat next to a Portlander, and we talked about the route, races we had done, how early we were getting up, etc.

It was a gorgeous day, even with Mt. St. Helens erupting, and the tour was rather depressing. It freaked me out, and kinda stripped me of my calm "I'll take it as it comes" attitude. There was the awful Front Ave out and back... St. Helens road where the bridge never seems to get any closer... and then the St. Johns Bridge itself. I felt a bit better that my seatmate also seemed freaked out.

Later, my sweetie and I were at my favorite pasta joint, happily munching salad and talking about where to meet up tomorrow when the people next to us asked if we were talking about the marathon and was I participating, blah blah blah. They both gave me a huge pep talk about how it's a great marathon with great support and I was going to do great, and that awful Front there and back was all entirely flat. They were both experienced marathoners, and had done the Portland, as well as others, multiple times. It was nice--I felt very touched by how kind and excited they were.

Now, I think I have everything done and set. Well, I need to set up my splits bracelet. I've ironed the initials onto my shirt, I've put the chip on my shoe, I've attached the bib to my skort. I'm done enough for the night.

the day before

2004-10-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

My. It's hard to believe, now, that the marathon is tomorrow. I'm ready, and I'm not.

Yesterday, I hit the expo, and to my disbelief, ran into three people I knew. Cool! I picked up lots of schwag (free marathon bars, Las Vegas Marathon playing cards), looked briefly at clothing (let's just say--I saw a quite a few people my size there, and I saw next to no clothing my size), and signed up as a Bonnydale.

I ran over to a record store that had hair dye in the hopes they would have something old school--but they only had the mall store brand. I picked up iron-on letters for my t-shirt, and went to the beauty supply to pick up hair clips. They, strangely enough, had manic panic (ultra violet). And, the library finally had John Bingham's Marathoning for Mortals for me.

I did dye my hair, at least, the longer sections that aren't blonde and red streaks, and I'm not terribly happy. The dyed sections look gothily blue! I'm going to chat with my hair dresser this morning and see what she recommends.

Today, for a day where I should be reclining and eating pasta, is full. I get my nails done (big treat!), I go to the Greek Festival with my coworker who just had surgery a week or so back, and I go on the marathon route bus tour. Oh well!

antsy

2004-10-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting to leave work now. I'm a little frustrated as the files I need -- and I should have gotten on Monday the 27th -- seem to be not available. I can hear one of the people I need files from having an animated conversation about cats. And yet it will be my fault if I don't have the website up on time. Love this stuff.

But hey, I'm made of time. What's the big deal?

I had a weird dream last night, not unpleasant which I'm sure is full of psychological insight, not that I've gone there. I dreamt I was in a hotel somewhere in the midwest. I needed to get back to my mother's house in suburban Detroit (of course, my mom doesn't live in suburban Detroit anymore, but...) because my suitcase was there. And I needed to fly. So I finally get myself onto a plane (which seemed rather like the Portland Streetcar), and after awhile I realize that I booked the flight to my Mom's childhood home, 5 hours north of her house. Sometime later, I realize that it's actually going to western Michigan, not Mom's childhood home. That's when I woke up.

Now what I found really interesting was the fact that I was tremendously calm and confident and unflustered by the whole thing. I knew I'd get there eventually, I just needed to be flexible and patient. So what is that about? That flexible patient person doesn't seem really like me--my self-image is all about being flustered. But I liked it.

two days!

2004-10-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

I am just feeling so full of joy and potential this morning. I feel calm for the first time this week, almost confident. I can't stop smiling!

I sent out the email, finally. I realized that there were only two miles that I was unsure where I'd be. My coworkers seemed amused by the whole thing, which was about what I expected.

I still don't have purple hair--that will have to happen today. I'm having a little crisis, because what else do I have to have a crisis about, as to if I should be using an old school brand like Crazy Color or Manic Panic, versus my mall-bought brand.

I'm working a half day today so I can go to the Marathon Expo, and then to see my chiropractor for a good-luck adjustment. I can plainly see I am going to be good for nada.

If you wanted to support me...

2004-09-30T16:01:00.000-07:00

I just figured out my splits and locations, as close as I am likely to figuring them out. And here they are:
18 - 12:06:22 Turning onto Willamette from the St. John's Bridge
19 - 12:23:25 Willamette Blvd at Macrum Ave
20 - 12:40:24 Willamette Blvd just south of UofP
21 - 12:57:22 Saratoga & Willamette Blvd.
22 - 1:14:20 Detoured most likely onto Interstate Ave
23 - 1:30:49 Somewhere on Interstate
24 - 1:48:15 N. Interstate at Tillamook
25 - 2:04:53 On Front Ave coming to the Finish Line
26 - 2:21:52 On Salmon at First

a map of the route is here: www.portlandmarathon.org/info/map6.gif, and the flash movie is here: www.portlandmarathon.org/info/course.html.

please come cheer me on if you're here in Portland!

other excitement

2004-09-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, and did you hear? Mt. St. Helens might blow again, in the next couple days? Wouldn't that make a memorable marathon? I guess I better go get a breathing mask, just in case, now!

3 days

2004-09-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

Three days! I'm about to jump out of my skin!

By the way, that, to my right, is what I plan to wear to the marathon. In spite of the horrible lighting, the hat is white—and if I can help not wearing it, I won't be!

It's getting really hard now. Yesterday at work I got all stressed out, and contemplated my options. Usually, I could: go for a walk, go for a bike ride, go to the gym and lift heavy things or do the rowing or cross-country machine. I could: go for a hamburger and french fries with my darling. I could: drink a beer or a margarita, or two. But, I can't do any of those things right now! So I was left with dark chocolate. And giving some much needed attention to an old web project.

Today, I'm going to a fancy lunch with my coworkers. (A full report will be posted tonight on my other blog). I've decided that, if they have the tempura-ed green beans they are famous for on the menu, I must have them, avoidance of fried food or not. One must know where to be flexible.

In related news, I have not dyed my hair yet. I was about to do it last night when my darling pointed out that going out with the CEO with purple hair might not be appropriate. (Thank you!!)

I'm still stuck on this sending-out-emails thing, this time on telling people where to cheer me on. The problem is the route.

For slower participants after 12:00 noon an alternative certified route will be used for the last 4 miles of the course for reasons of safety.

But what is that alternative certified route? I know it involves Interstate Ave, but I don't know where we cut over to Interstate, and obviously, I don't know where the mile markers hit. So, how am I supposed to say, I'm going to be here at this time? Ack!

Thanks for all the well-wishing by the way! I need it!

4 days

2004-09-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know how my sweetie can live with me. I don't know how my coworkers can stand me. All I can think about is the marathon, and I am just good for absolutely nothing else.

I didn't bike in this morning. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

Last night, I was busy thinking about how crummy my knees felt, and thinking that perhaps the bicycling was going to be the ruin of my marathon. This morning, I read several posts in the forum about how this week, every little ache and pain becomes magnified into this awful, horrible thing that (you believe) will keep you from marathoning or marathoning well—but in fact, everything is going to be fine once you get yourself to the starting line. It's good advice for life in general.

Since I'm tapering, and I can't do anything to make the time move any faster, I'm obsessed with what I can do in the meantime. Like, for example, dying my hair. I decided a while back that I would dye my hair purple for the marathon. Once I bought the hair dye, I started to have second thoughts—what if it was permanent? am I, at 41, going to look ridiculous with purple hair? What if it ruins my 6-month old highlights and lowlights? Maybe I should just do streaks— but how stupid will that look?

(I need to just channel Clementine Kruczynski!)

This looms large for another reason, too. I've decided I am going to send out an email to friends in town that will have my expected times at expected mileposts and what I'll look like, so if people want to come cheer me on, particularly in my hour of need (miles 20-26), they can do so. Of course, I could take a picture of my PFit shirt and link to my skort and say I'll have purple hair and nails, and a grey hydration backpack... or I could take some pictures. And make it into a Flash movie (never mind that I've never done anything in Flash, but I've done video editing—how hard can it be?). Oh yeah, and send it all out by Friday. Do you hear the maniacal laughter?

I guess it's good to keep busy...

Comments, anyone?

2004-09-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

I just had a dear friend mention to me that she might comment on my blog if she didn't have to become a Blogger member. Yikes! I just went into the settings and have reset this. Anyone can now comment. Please be nice. Or be funny... Thanks.

Failing Bridge

2004-09-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

I just learned that Lance Armstrong got hit by a car, and then did a triathalon three days later. (I'm not worthy!)

I was running tremendously late this morning, so I decided to bike part of the way, and take MAX the rest. The route goes through the neighborhood, past the collision of gentification and poverty and black middle-class and drug wars--shack next to restored Craftsman next to modest, well-kept house. Coming home last night, I had passed a lot of cats--and a lot of female persons holding cats like babies. But the neighborhood seemed devoid of cats this am.

I'll cut to the chase--the best part of the ride was crossing the Failing Bridge, as it used to be called (now it's the Failing Ped. Bridge), named for Mayor Failing of Albina, which was incorporated into Portland in the early part of last century. The Failing Bridge does look like a particularly pathetic pedestrian bridge over I-5, though riding across it is fine--it's plenty substantial. To make things even better, I got up the ramp without stopping or walking, and I very quickly caught the MAX.

I'm still reading Mike Magnuson's Heft on wheels: a fieldguide to doing a 180. I just got to the part where he's riding with his cycling group and can't keep up, and someone remarks that he's too slow to ride with the group, which spurs all kinds of self-improvement. Honestly, it makes me feel a little hopeless. Here's this guy--my age, my weight--who has been cycling all of his life--and he can't keep up with the group. And here I am, finding it hard to ride up very slight inclines. Yikes.

The weird thing is, I do like it. I wish that I wasn't so publically demonstrating my lack of bicycling prowess on a practically daily basis, but I'm still compelled to do it. When I'm not thinking about the marathon, I'm thinking about how I could put my old bike on rollers. Have I lost my mind?

No changes

2004-09-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

5 days. 5 days. 5 days.

I have my splits printed out, and attached to my monitor. That's really about it for stuff that I'm doing, other than just always thinking about the marathon.

The rule of thumb for marathons is: change nothing. I, surprise surprise, am being driven slowly insane by the thought of changing nothing, so I am making two diet changes this week.

No alcohol.

No deep fried food.

Part of this is about treating my body like the precision instrument it is. Part of this is about hoping to not gain weight during the taper. There should be another part, but I think it's really just the two.

I am well-hydrated. I am a sleep athlete....

I'm not as strong as I thought

2004-09-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, I just went to the gym to find out if I could bench press 120 lbs, and the answer is: no. So much for that idea...

6 days

2004-09-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

... 'til the marathon! 6 days!!

I biked in today and it really was very pleasant. Just a nice quiet Portland morning, full of people walking dogs and cats walking themselves, and not many cars. Then I went to the gym and did my upperbody work, which brings me to a question:

In the Portland Marathon, you can sign up for Clydesdale and Bonnydale if you meet those criteria (eg, are not skinny-skinny). An option within that is the Pump and Run, where you bench press a certain amount of weight (in my case, 120 lbs) at the Expo. So... is there any benefit at all to doing the Pump and Run? I looked at last year's results, which were broken down by age and weight--and saw nothing about the Pump and Run whatsoever. Or is this just for your own personal bragging rights (which is nothing to cough at!)?

Anyways, I couldn't remember the number of pounds, so I did do the bench press but only at 60 lbs. Can I do 120? Does it matter?

Hood to Coast

2004-09-26T16:08:00.000-07:00

An amusing (and by the sounds of things, true) story about running the Hood to Coast relay by Portland pop-culture dude/tte M.E. Russell can be found here:

splits

2004-09-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was drinking my coffee, I saw a post on the PFit forum about making a wristband with your marathon pace. It included a link to an application on Marathon Guide that created a very elegant wristband -- but of course, that wristband doesn't take into account the St. John's Bridge at mile 17.

So I decided to find the splits generator at the Portland Marathon site, which isn't as pretty as Marathon Guide's, but would be more realistic. The link is really hard to find. On it, it has you enter your goal time and three recent race performances.

The rule of thumb I've heard of is twice your half-marathon pace plus 10 or 15 minutes. This puts me at a little over 8 hours, which I just can't bear. So I decided to put in the unrealistic goal of 7 hours 45 minutes. I entered a couple three race times, and hit the submit form button, and it came up with the goal times, and the predicted times. I fully expected the predicted times to be, well, at least 15 minutes later than the goal times--but in fact, it was 10 minutes earlier--7:35. By golly!

If I input the time for my 21 miler--7:25. Oh my gosh, that's way too good to be true. Of course, we will see what happens--and perhaps if I can manage to start out slowly, I can end fast. That's my goal.

I just want to go out and run around. I am going to look for an appropriate halloween costume for the dog and hope that wears me out a little.

saturday

2004-09-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

The last session of PFit for this year. I haven't been sad, because I feel like it will go on, in different forms, until next year. And it will. I walked 5 miles as a sprint, in 78 minutes (15.6 minute/miles), and felt great during and afterwards.

On the way home, I was laundry-listing all the stuff I could do--bike downtown to take pictures, jog with the dog, bicycle over to the Polish Festival--something, anything, go-go-go! For the last couple weekends, I didn't have a free moment, and now, I just want to move because I know I shouldn't.

In a moment between meetings yesterday, I decided to see if there was a Detroit marathon, and of course there is, and it's coming right up. I immediately started thinking about how much fun it would be to do the Detroit Marathon, until I read the finer print that the finish line closes under 7 hours from the start. Maybe next year I can do a marathon under 7 hours, but this year, I'll be happy to finish under 8. They offer a half-marathon as well (which is sold out for this year). Maybe next year! Yeah, next year in Detroit!

rest day

2004-09-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

It's Friday, and it feels like Friday. I am so ready for the week to be over. The marathon is 9 days away. Tomorrow, I'll walk 5 miles. All I can think about is the marathon.

Part of it is this impatience for the marathon to be over. I'm not supposed to change anything before or on marathon day -- of course, suddenly, I want to take up jogging, I want to do speedwork, I want to start running stairs. I feel like, in a way, that everything is on hold.

I need suggestions. I've heard that you should try to make yourself look distinctive in a large event like this (Portland is expecting 9000-10,000 runners and walkers) -- so what does that mean? Should I personalize my shirt? Decorate my hydration backpack? Create sharpie tattoos? What do you do?

it all helps

2004-09-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

I ended up taking a shower and washing my hair right before bed last night. I woke up this morning and caught a glance of myself as I was passing to the toilet -- I looked like Lyle Lovett! My hair was a sculpted, curly mess on top of my head. I rather liked it -- but today is a dress-up day for work so I smashed it all down.

Well, after a friend and a complete stranger telling me I needed to get my seat adjusted, I finally took it to heart. As I was pathetically pedalling down a flat section of street, working way too hard, I jumped off the bike and took a look at the seat post (I'm sure there's a technical term for this, but I'm not there yet) -- low and behold, adjustable! So I cranked it up about an inch. That helped! But it still wasn't where it should be. So I brought it up another half an inch, and voila, me and my bike seem to be less at odds.

That said, the steel bridge bike/ped path was up, so I took the Esplanade over to the Hawthorne Bridge, and I did end up getting almost to the top of a ramp and then walking. But, I am hopeful that soon I will post about bicycling and not include the word pathetic.

My upper body has felt different since I've been biking. Like, tighter. Right now, my right arm pleasantly aches, and I can actually see some muscle definition. I have some thigh and back acheyness too, which pleases me. My hot shower this morning felt so good!

so much for optimism

2004-09-22T20:19:00.000-07:00

You know, sometimes my optimism just makes me sick!!

I had a long work day, productive but vaguely stressful. I didn't do my upperbody workout, and I almost didn't ride home. I left work about an hour late, and thought, 'I think I have a good excuse to take the train home'.

So I go to the train stop about two blocks away from work and wait. It's 5:27, the train is supposed to be there at 5:27, there's no train in sight. So I take this as a message from providence and start biking home. Maybe I'll just catch the train from Rose Quarter, yeah. So, I do better on the ramp than I have, but I still don't make it up in one fell swoop, and I'm almost hit twice while I'm in the bike lane. I think about the fact that I'm 41, way overweight, and swearing like a sailor at cars -- doesn't look good, does it?

So, I stop (again) at the train stop. There are about 7 gazillion people waiting there, perhaps a 1/4 of them with bicycles. Anyways, for some reason, there are crossing guards at this train stop, so I ask how late the train is (it's now 5:57). Oh, the crossing guard doesn't know, but he'd like to chat about the bike, and gosh, I need to get that seat raised tout suite cuz that just can't be comfortable. Another crossing guard admits that it's been well over 45 minutes since the last train, but I could take the #1, and, oh—there it is, it's driving by. Then, we hear that there's some hold up and the train will be another couple minutes.

Another call from providence saying, VJ, get your lazy butt in gear. So I start riding home. First, uphill through the crowds going to the circus, and past the one sad, pathetic guy who's protesting, sorta, with a handwritten cardboard sign. Then finally into the neighborhood, and up the multitude of little pathetic hills. I'm not sure when I made it home. I ate, watched a TiVOed Daily Show and now I need to shower.

It's getting better. I have to hold onto that hope. I just wish it was getting better faster. I wish I had more stamina, more power. All things in time, I suppose.

a good ride

2004-09-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

I've spent way too much space bellyaching about how hard the bike commute is... This morning, the commute in was beautiful. It felt good. I was out early enough that I didn't have a lot of traffic to contend with, and while it wasn't effortless or anywhere near it, it felt doable. Achievable.

Maybe that's the brilliance of the bike commute challenge -- it's taken 12 days of commuting for me to actually feel comfortable. My sense of competition has kept me coming back. This morning I thought in terms of myself as a bike commuter, as in, I need rain gear so I can continue biking in.

The ride back home is getting better too. I rode more hills and walked less.

Kittens Hailed As Key To Marathon Success

2004-09-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

KITTENS - worshiped in many lands as the spirit animal of running and walking, they inspire, protect, and most of all love...albeit in a rather aloof way. Maybe "aloof" is the wrong word. COMPLETE! We have three adorable kittens to give away. They are playful, box/house trained, and most of all, come from a long line of marathoners... Good luck to everyone next week. (These companions would surely distract you from the taper jitters...they know no taper.)

- from the PFit forum

The last couple days have been a blur. Work's been crazed and chaotic and I've let it invade the rest of my life. Bicycle riding, however, brings me back to the present. Be here now. Watch for cars and car doors and cats. Try to make it up this pathetic little hill without panting. Say hi to other cyclists.

I'm seeing some small victories. It's getting easier -- not as fast as I'd like, but still. Today I dressed in old pants to come into work, rather than the bike skort or running shorts that I usually wear, and I felt like people were expecting less of me. Or maybe I was expecting less of me.

Yesterday I came part of the way home on the MAX train. I stood next to a bike messenger type with a flock of seagulls haircut. Nice bike, natch. I noticed a round donut-like bike lock on his bike frame so I asked him about it. He took it out of its holster and flipped it open in one fluid motion. Cool! It also has the kyptonite style circular lock, and may be as easy to open without a key. But it sure was cool looking.

Deadline met

2004-09-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

What a relief. I just finished the mockups I have to present at work tomorrow. This was cutting it entirely too close, but I suspect this whole process is going to be a bunch of "hurry up & waits". I unfortunately caffeine-loaded this afternoon to ward off my post-race nap (well, okay, there was a post-race nap) drowsiness, and now, of course, I'm wide awake.

I can't believe the marathon is in two weeks. I can't believe it!

Yesterday, we had our second-to-last PFit session. We walked 7 miles, which was just so thoroughly pleasant. It's funny to realize that six months ago, 7 miles was a long way and it would be a big deal to walk it. Hell, just a couple years ago, I did the 5K walk at Race for the Cure with my sweetie, and we bagged it at the two-thirds point because we were tired and hungry.

There is this ease I'm particularly aware of after the PFit walk/runs where I just feel like I can chat with anyone there. I'm not terrifically outgoing, so this is kinda a big deal. There has been this bonding -- the group keeps getting smaller and smaller -- and it's obvious who is there every week. Perhaps part of this is because the marathon is looming large for so many of us -- and while we can talk to our friends and loved ones about it, they just don't know and can't know what this means. Why is this so important? I don't need to explain it to my PFit acquaintances.

As M. and I inhaled our post-walk breakfast this morning (nothing like a little race to make you hungry like a bear), we chatted about what races we walked to do this fall and winter. I'm already thinking about destination marathons, and I tried to pique her interest. She was a little more guarded -- "would you let me run my first marathon, please, before we start talking about the next one?" It's true -- maybe I'll hate that distance. It could happen.

Race for the Cure Stats

2004-09-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

Komen Race for the Cure 5K Coed run
September 19, 2004
Portland, Oregon
3.1 miles
49:15
15.89 minute/mile pace

I'm really pleased.

My sweetie and I went out carousing last night -- we went to see American Beer. Rogue Brewery was pouring some of their own, so we had a couple American Ambers while watching the movie. The movie was definitely indie -- the sound was badly mastered, some parts were dark -- but really amusing. I drank a ton of water hoping to be in reasonably good shape for today. And it seems to have worked, in spite of some really really intense unpleasant dreams (the stalker-killer, the semi-automatic Jesus, and my sweetie sleeps with somebody else -- ack!)

We had a tremendously slow start (who knows how many thousands of participants, not organized by time at all), and I, in turn, started out too fast and was unable to get my heart rate below 72% for the first mile. The first mile was the only mile marked (argh!), so I managed to slow down and relax for the next mile or so, and picked it up once we were crossing the Burnside Bridge back into downtown. I passed lots of people, and had the requisite response. At least once in every fun run, I'll pass a young person who will then freak out that they were passed by a fat walker. They will then start running, and run for about 10 ft, and then stop so they are ahead of me again. This may happen several times. I almost invariably pass them again and cross the finish line in front of them, and I certainly did this time.

I wore my Run Against Bush shirt, and got no comments at all during or before the race. I thought, maybe this was just crass to be wearing a political t-shirt. But coming through the shute, everyone complimented me on the shirt.

After the race, I met up with M. and one of her friends to do the 5K women's walk. We did a 30 minute mile pace, mostly because it was so very crowded and bottle-necked. It's unpleasant to walk that slow!

There were tons of survivors there. That was cool and scary at the same time. I walked in celebration of my mom, an acquaintance, and two coworkers.

Now I'm tired. Unfortunately, my work still waits.

where's my endorphin rush?

2004-09-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I did my weight-training this am (no bike commute, however), and usually I'm feeling great about 10 minutes into it. Not today. I never did get my endorphin rush. Today's a rest day, so I shouldn't really seek out my rush somewhere else. Not that I really have the energy to.

Well, if I can't be doing it, I could at least be reading it, right? I'm still working on Slow Burn, Heft on Wheels, and Runner's world Complete Book of Women's Running, and keeping up with my favorite blogs and forums. And in a forum, I learned about the Zeitgeist Half Marathon:

Enjoy a scenic walk or run through the rolling hills of northwest Boise. The course features paved and dirt roads, six aid stations with water, Gatorade and 8 chances to sit down and relax in your own private privy.
After the half marathon recover with a bottle of Gatorade or Crystal Cascade bottled water...

I gotta appreciate a sense of humor! It sounds like a great event, if a little chilly (maybe I need to stock up on winter clothes...).

dreaming of walking

2004-09-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

Bicycling is kicking my ass. That's good, I'm sure -- a different set of muscles, an opportunity to develop more heart and lung capacity, and a twice daily exercise in humility.

I met up with M. for dinner last night. We went to a popular Lebanese restaurant, completely full, elbow to elbow, of bohemians, punk rockers, and office folk -- an unusual mix. It was great to just hang with her and talk about training (or lack thereof this week), about the marathon (17 days away), about sport drink options, and about the Race for the Cure, which is Sunday. We're both doing the 5K Coed run, and then doing the 5K womens' walk afterwards. It was very cute -- she asked me if I wanted to run at the beginning with her. Someday, someday, I'll be ready for that -- but not now. Walking it will be enough for me this time.

Portland Marathon has changed its course sport drink -- we trained on Powerade, as they've been the sport drink in recent memory -- but now it's Ultima. M. gave me a packet to mix up -- she really did not care for it. Oh, I can't wait to try it (not).

As we were eating a meal that seemed to almost entirely consist of pita bread, we started chatting about the fact that we're supposed to taper food-wise as well as exercise-wise. Yeah, right! I think that in honor of the taper, I will give up my favorite carbohydrate of all -- beer. It's gonna hurt, I know it.

This morning, I was a slow starter. The time ticked by and I was still on the couch, no closer to riding the bike to work. By the time I finished my morning chores, I could have easily made an excuse not to ride in. But then, before I knew it, me and the bike were out in the street.

I'm coordinating my office's Bike Commute Challenge (BCC) so I feel I need to set a good example. But the way the Challenge page is set up, the people with the most rides are at the top, the people with the least, down at the bottom. In that sense, it really is a competition.

One of the folks who rides regularly to work asked to be removed from the BCC yesterday. He was feeling like it was all about competition, and he didn't want to play. Mind you, he has made a miraculous transformation in the last six months or so -- going from non-athlete to someone who bike commutes over Mt. Tabor, and regularly rides half-centuries on the weekends. He carries himself differently, more powerfully. I was disappointed that he wanted out.

For me, part of it is logging that trip in the morning. I love stats. But the challenge of it, for me, is actually doing the ride. It's physically a challenge. I'm sure I look labored and outrageously slow and fat, because I am. I should hate the time I'm on the bike -- particularly, the time that I'm going home over one little tiny completely-humiliating hill after another-- but for some reason, I don't.

Still, I can't wait for the weekend -- when I can walk! Seven miles Saturday, then a fast, and then a slow 5K on Sunday. Wuhoo!

2 Portland biking notes

2004-09-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Portland has these cool bicycle traffic light changing thingees. Essentially, you line up the bike on the line (with the little bike image on it), and it's like pressing the walk button -- you get the signal. There's a special bike traffic light coming off the east side of the Steele Bridge that is activated when a bike lines up on it. This morning, I got the left hand signal -- on Broadway! -- immediately.

~~In honor of Bike Commute Challenge month (or maybe it's just a coincidence),~~ Portland Police do enforce the "no bicycling on sidewalks downtown" law. The ticket is $300+.

more biking, more of the time.

2004-09-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

It seems like biking is consuming me. Forever, or at least the last 5 months, I've been walking, walking, walking. Now, between the BCC and tapering for the marathon, I feel like I haven't been walking at all. It's rather making me crazy. Especially since I'm at least a competent walker. Bicycling is a whole 'nother thing.

Last night I rode home. Passed a pedestrian/bicycle accident -- of course, the bicyclist was hysterical but untouched and the pedestrian appeared to have lost an eye. It made me think of Chrissie's aunt, who was paralyzed after being hit by a bicycle while she was walking. It's scary stuff.

I then succeeded in getting halfway up the ramp after the Steel Bridge. This is pathetic, but it's a great accomplishment for me. I then rode home very slowly through the neighborhood.

I passed a couple of punk rock girls on their bikes. I knew they would pass me when they turned onto my street -- that goes without saying. But my heart is always gladdened by the sight of punk rock girls. (Which suddenly makes me think of the Kids in the Hall sketch, He's hip, he's cool, he's 45. Anyways.) So, they do pass me, of course, and hammer up a hill, and that's when I realized that one of them had a prosthetic leg. I need to quit my whining!

Tuesday

2004-09-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

I must be recovering a bit, because I feel stronger and more energetic today. The bike ride in wasn't a piece of cake, but it was better. I've noticed a couple things about my bike riding: 1) I feel really nervous about getting out of the saddle and standing to climb or do whatever -- I feel really unstable; and 2) my crotch hurts like hell at the 25 minute point. It stops hurting when I get off the bike, but still. So today, I tried standing on the pedals every now and again. The trust isn't there yet -- but my crotch didn't hurt at all when I got into work.

I was reading Adventure Cyclist (well, I can dream, can't I?) yesterday and cracked up when I read this:

"You'll see a bountiful offering of saddles. Consider yourself lucky if the stock saddle is the one you like most. And remember, almost everyone agrees that (a) the more you ride, the the skinnier the saddle you want, and (b) fatter saddles sell better. Don't expect me to fix this disconnect."
--John Schubert, March 2003, How to Buy a Touring Bike

I, of course, have a big ole saddle on my new bike. Is this true? Cyclists, please tell! (is this my excuse to go to Terry and get a new saddle?)

My walk for today was just 20 minutes, and I ended up walking around downtown. I was very pleasant, a nice morning, and I always enjoy people watching, checking out the older buildings and the like. I saw a lot of women wearing beautiful shoes. I felt a pang of longing -- I wish I could wear pretty shoes. I had decent legs -- wouldn't they look nice in heels? The thing is, girly shoes, flat or heels, kill my feet. I can't wear them. Well, I can -- I'm just so uncomfortable that I'm sure the expression on my face ruins the effect of my pretty feet. I thought of a blog entry in Fit Notes (sorry, can't find the permalink here):

No matter what shoes I wear, if they’re not laced-up athletic shoes, they tear holes into my feet in minutes. I see women walking around in all kinds of dress shoes, flat and otherwise, and they look perfectly comfortable. How do they do it? Is there something wrong with my feet?
July 22, 2004: Danger: Shoes

It set me to thinking. Could a person train to wear girly shoes? In high school and college, I adored heels and wore them often, until I decided that looking unstable wasn't sexy. They weren't painful then. Maybe I could adapt a marathon training program for wearing them -- slowly ratcheting up the time spent in them?

I wish the marathon would hurry up and get here!

Monday

2004-09-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, and I think I'm finally feeling the Saturday walk. I'm tired, and not really feeling very inspired. I biked in, and actually rode up all the hills -- it's getting better. Perhaps this biking thing will feel good at some point!

The Bicycle Transporation Alliance sent me a couple Bike Commute Challenge posters to put up here at work -- they are beautiful. Hopefully this will encourage more people to participate than my silly emails.

The most exciting thing that has happened today is another sighting of the Pants On Fire Mobile, which is supposed to be in Portland through the 25th. A bunch of us ran down the stairs and out to the curb to watch the supreme monstrosity go by. It just warms my heart.

I ran into my coworker this morning, and so I made my confession about not saying hi. She seemed bummed that I hadn't said hi (which was nice), and we had a good conversation about blisters and pacing ourselves. I always expect my coworkers to not like me for whatever reason, and I'm always a bit shocked when they in fact do seem to like me.

I learned something sad today about the marathon. Basically, if you aren't at mile 22 by 12 noon, you'll be diverted to the "walker-friendly course". It's the difference between coming down the middle of Greeley, a small nice road, closed to traffic, and coming down Interstate Ave, a big ugly strip, on the sidewalk. To make that cut-off, I'd have to walk a 13.6 minute/mile. I might possibly be able to do that -- on a 5K if some of the PFit folks were pacing me -- but not on a marathon. Sheesh! To make matters worse, the MAX train, our mass-transit, comes down Interstate, and it will be taunting me, I know it.

I was also excited to see that Jayne has posted another race report, this time for the Chicago Triathlon/Team Clydesdale World Games V where she set a world record for her age/weight class! Her race reports (and dining logs -- hey, a woman after my heart) are up at http://www.slowfattriathlete.com/ -- there's a link from the home frame (sorry!) to the Chicago report, and the rest can be found in the 2004 Race Season.

Resources for fat chick athletes

2004-09-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

Are you female and out of the S-L clothing continuum? Me too. Finding workout clothes is a pain. It's a catch-22 -- you're too big to wear cute workout gear and you're too big because you're not working out. Anyways, here's a list that I wish I would have had when I started out.

Sport bras for the overly-endowed: Enell Sport Bras.
You put one on, and you can just forget about your breasts, because they will be subdued. I can do any sort of aerobic activity and my breasts don't move. It's brilliant. It's worth it to check local sports shops and bra stores so you can see how it feels before purchasing, because I'm told some women don't care for them. Indeed, it took both the bra fitter and I to get it on the first time. And yes, it's more expensive than buying a sport bra at Target. Everything here is more expensive than Target. Damn it.

Stylin' clothes: Terry Precision Cycling.
Terry carries plus sizes, and many of their "normal" sized womens' gear come in XXL. They carry my favorite thing of all, the walking skort (they call it the Player), which combines an unpadded bike short with a wrap around skirt -- and three pockets, big enough for kleenex, gel, iPod. First of all, they're cute. Second, they're modest -- no advertising your beer belly or your tube of lipstick. And third of all -- pockets, brothers and sisters. Pockets! Oh, and did I mention they have tops? Cute tops?

More stylin' clothes: Team Estrogen.
Hanna pointed them out as a local favorite. I had somehow missed that they carry plus sizes, but of course, they do. Nice selection as well, though it does favor cyclists.

An other option for clothes: Junonia.
My complaint here is that they do have a lot of "active styles" and a whole lot of it is cotton. Yuck.

Last options: checking out chain sporting goods stores for their men's XXL sizes. I was able to get a couple pairs of Brooks running shorts for cheap.

Where do you buy workout clothes? Share the wealth!

I can't wait for the marathon

2004-09-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday, I did 21 miles and thought it was gonna kill me. Today I can't wait to do the marathon. Oh my gosh, I've lost my tiny mind!

I actually feel remarkably good today, physically and mentally. It was a nice cool day, and I rode my bike into work, which was really pleasant. When I got downtown a couple blocks from my building, I saw the Pants-On-Fire-Mobile slowly driving by. Too cool!

I can't wait to do the marathon partially because I want to know if I'm going to like that distance. Maybe I'll hate it. But I loved 19 miles. And I love the idea of having an excuse to travel other places.

Oh. In the spirit of full-disclosure about seeing my coworker yesterday... We had emailed each other on Friday, also known as the day before my 21 mile death march, and I had sent her this obnoxiously cheerful email about blisters and walking routes. I mean, I was little Mary sunshine.

And I was so not little Mary sunshine yesterday at 15 miles when I saw her, all perky in her street shoes and clothes. I was definitely not perky -- I had run out of water and sport drink, I was tired and in pain, and while I was wearing my most cheerful walking skort, I probably had my own black cloud on a string.

I thought about how I had said that you need to put the blister pads on your feet when you first start to feel the hot spot, and I thought about the fact that I had about 5 hot spots that I had been aware of for about 7 miles at that point. (And I had blister pads in my pack). I thought about the fact that I was wearing a Portland Marathon training shirt, and that perhaps that had jinxed me -- why had I tempted fate? And I was afraid she'd pass me, which she did -- here I was, having trained for months, to be passed by someone who had started training last month? Well, yes. I reminded myself that weight does make a difference in speed, and she weighs at least 100# less than me. And, that I had been walking 15 miles at that point. And, who am I kidding, I'm just not all that fast.

I'm not the only one who had my butt thoroughly kicked by the 21 miler. A big thread has developed on the PFit forum about who was the most miserable. The strange thing is that everyone can't wait for the marathon.

I did 21 miles!

2004-09-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

I did it! I did it!

Now, five hours after finishing it, I can't believe that I did finish it, and I can't believe I don't feel worse for the wear.

My goal was to finish in under 6 hours. I had set up my Garmin to do a virtual training partner, but I had set it up to go too fast, so it was constantly chirping at me.

It all started off innocently enough. Cool, humid morning, starting before sunrise. By the time we got to McCall Waterfront Park, I was walking with B. and K., who are excellent pacesetters for me. Unfortunately, on the Esplanade, they stopped to visit the porta-potties, and I continued on. And decided to pass some people. And then decided to throw in some hip-swivel. By the time I came off the Sellwood Bridge, I knew that I was tapped, and it was too late to do anything about it. I came back by the starting point, and it was a party -- the fast runners were standing around, a juice company was there handing out juice, and there was a table with snacks. I went on. At that point, it was 3 hours, 10 minutes -- it didn't look like I was going to make my 6 hour goal -- how was I going to do negative splits when I was already feeling so bad?

I ran into J., a racewalker who was finishing up, who suggested a different route. I don't know if that point I looked like death -- but I'm glad she suggested it. By the time I hit Tom McCall the second time, I was basically trudging, having to remind myself to keep good form. By the time I was on the Esplanade, I was having a fight with myself to say affirmations ("I will finish strong"; "I show good form"; I feel good and strong"...) and not just keep complaining about how I felt, how I wanted to quit, etc. My feet had been feeling like hamburger for a long while and I had various places on my feet that were hot spots. My hamstrings felt strung.

I'm ashamed to say that I saw a coworker out walking, and I was relieved when she didn't see, or recognize me. I'm sure at that point I looked like death -- I sure felt that way. I was having a hard time keeping my heart rate below 78%, and even though I was moving very slow, I felt like I was sprinting.

I did feel like quitting -- a lot. But I also couldn't face the thought of not finishing. This was a benchmark, the last long walk before the marathon. I had told a lot of people that I was planning to do this 21 miles. And worse yet, I had missed Diamanda Galas last night, so I could get a good night's sleep (ha!). I had to finish!

I made it to the beginning of the Springwater Corridor, and then headed back via the Hawthorne Bridge and Riverplace, as J. had suggested. By the time I made it to Springwater, I was out of water -- I had gone through my 3/4 full 100 oz. bladder. On the Hawthorne Bridge, I sprinted to try to avoid a crazy man with a golf club who was shouting his fool head off. Once I got off the bridge, I sat down to make a phone call.

My sweetie had driven me in in the morning and was planning to pick me up, when I called him. He had loaned me his cellphone... Now, I can count on one hand the number of times I've used a cellphone, and here I was, delirious, unable to figure out how to turn the damn thing on. I went into the Riverplace Hotel and a young woman there was kind enough to show me how it works.

I got some gatorade, and was unable to open the bottle. I went into a washroom and both stalls were full with mothers and their children. Oh dear God. I just forged on.

In the home stretch on Moody, someone checked up on me, and offered to get me a ride. I refused, though I asked her to come back and check on me again. I ran into one of the leaders, and he offered a ride too, but at that point, I had to finish. And I did.

The woman who had checked up on me was with my sweetie when I came into the parking lot -- and they were both cheering. She ran up and put a "medal" over my head -- a piece of yarn with a cardboard diamond saying PortlandFit 21 miles. I thought I might burst into tears -- that was far cooler than any medal I've received so far.

I was shocked to look at the time. I had made my negative split, somehow, and I was in under 6 hours. Oh my gosh!

The ice bath felt ridiculously good, and after a nap, I ache, but I feel much better than I expected. My arms and hamstrings ache.

5:51 (351)
21 miles
16.71/mile

If I am able to maintain that pace for the marathon:
-->437.9 7:18 minutes

in defense of the slow

2004-09-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

It's bad enough with the stuff you hear in your head: you're too slow to be competing, you're too fat to be in technical fiber clothing, walking isn't real athleticism-- as well as the discomfort and pain of feet that feel like hamburger, of being far too aware of your hamstrings, of feeling the chafing of your hydration pack, or the seam of your shorts, or where you forgot to bodyglide. That's bad enough.

Then there's Walking the Walk, in this month's Runner's World. I learned about this from Marshall's Walking Distance. Over all, the article was balanced, but it comes as a rude shock to read some of the hurtful comments that some runners make.

Yes, I am an amateur, a hobbyist -- but I've been as serious in my training as any runner. I get the distance in on the weekends, I walk seriously 4 days a week, and I cross-train to build my endurance. I work out at the gym to build my core strength, and to enhance my upper body strength. I haven't missed a Saturday walk since the beginning of June.

I'm out there when it's hot and when it's cold and when it's wet. I've gone from couch potato to dedicated walker -- and I'm not strolling! How dare someone say that walking a marathon is a "cop-out for an underachieving society".

Yes, I know someone who walked the marathon without training for it, and I know people who do marathons as a bit of a lark -- but isn't that also the case with runners?

In the events that I've done, I've not had a runner, or a spectator, make a cruel remark. Heaven knows they could have, especially in the beginning. I'm pleased by how supportive runners have been. And because I've been protected, it's just a shock how vehemently some runners feel about walkers.

Cathie Nagle made this comment, and it ran true for me: "If the faster runners have a problem, I suspect a deeper prejudice or discrimination against overweight or out-of-shape people. If that's the case, shame on you. I for one applaud anyone who toes the starting line, especially those people who take six to eight hours."

I'm hoping to do the marathon in 7.5 hours. That would be a fifteen minutes off my half-marathon times, so for me, if I can make that, it'll be a great achievement. Yeah, it'll be slow, but it'll be fast for me, and that's what counts.

rest days

2004-09-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

We made a quick trip up to Tacoma last night. I, in my usual optimism, expected that I'd be swimming in the motel pool, working out in the motel Fitness Center, and relaxing in the motel spa. In actuality, we ate a lot of really bad motel restaurant food, and did nothing at all.

I have the 21 mile walk looming on Saturday, and today is a rest day. Tomorrow is too. The thought of it drives me nuts. I can't ride my bike (and I can't tell you how obsessive I've been, thinking about how I can add more trips to work on my bike so my score will be higher!), not that it would be practical anyways, as I have an appointment late in the afternoon, and it drives me nuts. I can't do my 126 minutes of walking--not that I've succeeded in doing it all week. Yikes. I'm looking forward to after the marathon when I can walk all I please (of course, by then it will be dark in the morning and the evenings, hurrah). What's a girl to do?

The first official ride home

2004-09-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I made my first official full commute today -- using the bike to go to work and back home again. I had a nice ride in, quiet and slow. I saw Sara's car at the gym -- that always warms my heart -- and ran into Hanna on Tom McCall Waterfront Park. And, I didn't walk anything on the way there. Woo hoo! 27 minutes! 3 miles.

On lunch, we walked for an hour, to Jill's apartment and back. We were moving pretty good, and it was lovely outside. I figured out yesterday that I need to do 126 minutes of walking to make my 15,000 desired steps. Of course, I didn't do any more than the single hour, but that's a goal I'll be working towards.

Riding home was tough. I walked the bike A LOT, and rode very slowly on the last mile or so. Traffic was crazy, lots of cars, lots of bikes. By the time I got home, I was fully soaked with sweat, and totally in the middle of an endorphin rush (which I didn't realize until I sat down for a few minutes). 35 minutes. It's hard on my ego to walk my bike up hills, and to move so slowly -- at least with walking, I can tell myself I am a long distance walker. And, all the cyclists I saw easily weighed a hundred pounds less than me -- I'm sure it's easier to propel the bike when there's less weight involved.

I wanted to walk after dinner, but it's already dark. I'm glad the temperatures are getting cooler, but the whole shortening day thing is a bit much.

I am currently reading Slow Burn, which is supposed to be about long slow distance running, but so far it's been a lot of positive thinking, your thoughts are shaping your reality stuff. While I do believe that, my hooey button gets pressed very quickly with that sort of groovy talk, and I have a hard time reading more than a couple pages at a time.

Marathon pace

2004-09-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

I need to do the first 21 miles of the marathon at a 16.66 minute mile or better if I want to not get caught at the cut off. Supposably, walkers who are slow and don't make it to Greeley by 1pm marathon day will be diverted to a different course. (I need to find out if that's still the case, or if they did that in years past). I was planning to do at least an 18 minute mile pace (so I can finish under 8 hours), depending on heat, how I'm feeling, all that, but I'll need really to do better yet.

A 16.66 minute mile pace will still put me in 7 hours 16 minutes.

I'll have to try for that in the 21 miler this Saturday. Yow!

This long weekend has been awfully short

2004-09-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know where the three days went. Oh, Saturday, as usual, was lost to walking and sleep and eating. Sunday turned into a vaccuum cleaner buying extravaganza, where we bought an outrageously expensive Dyson. It's great, I love it. To celebrate, we played on all the exercise equipment in the store, the store in question being Sears. After being used to gym threadmills and exerbikes and the like, the home equipment is tremendously unsteady, even when new. The weirdest one was the Gazelle -- I had seen the infomercials, I had thought it might be cool -- until I tried it out.

Oh, and I found out an acquaintance has cancer. I've been in shock and denial.

Today, we tried to get the missing part that we had bought the vaccuum for, and experienced the Sears customer service ethic. Now, it might just be the Portland Sears customer service ethic, which I really hope, because it sucks rather severely, and I have experienced it multiple times with large appliances. We came in, brought the extra part that doesn't work at all with our Dyson, and asked for the pet hair attachment. Oh, you have to return the entire vaccuum, there's no other way to do it. So, two hours and a half hours later, we walk out with the floor model of the pet hair attachment after watching the salesman open two boxes, after multiple chats with the manager, including one where he ended a call with fuck you.

What's really frustrating is that we had a great saleslady when we bought it, who demonstrated all the possibilities, talked about her own experience, yaddayaddayadda -- very compelling. She was a pro. And even though we were on the other side of town, we decided to buy it from her because she had spent time with us, thoughtfully answered questions, and seemed interested in getting us a quality product. When we had to return the vaccuum, she lost the commission. The guy who ran interference this a.m. was kind enough to let us know that it was not a small commission either. The manager said that we shouldn't worry about her commission (along with a dig towards his own staff), which angered us further.

Sigh. Anyways, it was an exhausting experience.

I had planned all weekend that Monday I was going to ride my bike to the gym, do my upper body workout, and ride home. By the time I actually made it on the bike, the laundry list included also getting my 15,000 steps in. So, I rode in -- it was sunny and beautiful, and the Esplanade was full of people. The river was particularly attractive, so I stayed out bike riding for a little while longer.

Then into the gym. I did my upperbody stuff, which felt great and tough (I've missed a week of sessions), and then in a fit of insanity, I got on the treadmill and did an hour and a half. I learned that I do about 119 steps a minute -- which partially explains how slow I am. I tried hiking the speed up to a 15 minute mile, and found that my heart rate monitor (HRM) was showing really high percentages (like, out of fat burning and into anaerobic work). Oh, and then while I was trying to count steps, I tripped and almost fell off the treadmill.

But what was very cool was that I was wearing my HRM, and the treadmill read out was showing my heart rate -- it was automatically reading it!

Then it was time to get back onto the bike and ride back home, all uphill. Oh boy! Of course, my heart rate was very high at the end of the treadmill because of the whole 15 minute/mile step counting and tripping episode, which wasn't a very good thing, because it never dropped in the 40 minutes coming home. I did walk the bike up some hills, but I rode a lot of it. Slowly. And I felt exhausted when I got home. My sweetie asked me, did I feel exhilarated? Um, no, not really.

Now it's time for bed, with work waiting tomorrow, and I just feel ripped off. I don't feel like I've had a long weekend. Oh well, get over it, VJ!

11 miles

2004-09-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

I had a really nice walk on Saturday. 11 miles was the plan. It was cool and overcast. We started at 6 a.m. -- before it was light out! I met up with my fav. walking pal, J., who goes much faster than I do -- but yesterday she took mercy on me, and we went slower than she'd like, and faster than I'd like. It was a good compromise. We went up Terwilliger Parkway to the Chart House, a very nice, serious hill, and then back down, a lap around the Duniway Track, which is the most luxurious track imaginable. Then down by Old Spaghetti Factory, down the Willamette Greenway to Willamette Park, and back. J. called it good at 8 miles, but I went to finish it up, and I was amazed at how many people I was able to pass. In the end, I did 10.93 miles at a 17.29 mile, which is nothing to write home about, but it felt good.

Strangely enough, the Garmin called last weeks route, which was exactly the same, 12 miles. I did a 15.25 mile then. I don't know what to think.

Friday night

2004-09-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

I still haven't ridden the bike home from work. It would involve some hills, and as we've noted before, I'm not so good with the bike and hills. So, tonight we went to the usual pasta joint, and then went back to work to retrieve the bike.

The bike spends the day in the parking structure beneath the building, one steep floor beneath the ground floor, in the company of many other bikes. Getting the bike into the structure is easy, but getting it back out again is nothing but heartache. I was determined, however, that I was going to ride it out for once. So, I geared it down and began circling the garage, waiting for the SUV at the booth to move so I could triumphantly ride up the steep ramp! And I circled, and I circled, and finally after a few minutes, the SUV pulled away, and so I started pedalling hard, going up the ramp, and damn it, about 3/4 of the way up, there was the SUV, just sitting there! And so I stopped, and walked the bike the rest of the way up the ramp.

I don't want to tell you how long it took me to stop sweating from the effort. This is really new to me.

Friday, finally

2004-09-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was drinking my coffee, I kept hearing what sounded like buses driving up in front of the house. We are just off a bus route, but the sounds of buses are fairly faint unless you're listening for them. Not this morning. Imagine my surprise when I was taking the bike out the front door, and -- whoosh! -- there goes a #4. The public transit site says nothing about it, naturally.

I kept thinking about going back to bed, or taking the bus, or something. I really wasn't into the idea of riding the bike in this morning, or doing my morning workout (which is still undone), but I finally did get myself out the door and made it to work in record time: 25 minutes.

It's gray and overcast and chilly this morning -- I had meant to bring a jacket, but I forgot to put it on and once I got outside I decided to do without, rather than go back in and be 5 minutes later. My goal this morning was just to get to work ASAP, so I did not wear the heart monitor. I also decided to ride more of the bike routes. So I cut over to Vancouver Street, and low and behold, no bike route. I followed another cyclist down. I hung back at the lights, keeping up my cadence so I could take off quickly, and that worked out well. I really felt like a reasonable cyclist until I got downtown and then the line of men on bikes started passing me. Some other cyclists said hi to me though, which was nice.

It will be very pleasant to be walking again tomorrow, to be back in my comfort zone. 11 miles, not much.

addicted to the HRM

2004-09-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

I'm totally addicted to my heart rate monitor. I wear it almost every time I do anything involving exercise. Including riding my bike into work this morning.

I know I must be tired or dehydrated or maybe just recovering from our 30K (18.something miles), but my heart rate has been a little elevated this week, and it was hard keeping my heart rate below 75% on the ride in. And real bike riders know this, but I'm just learning it: you find hills where you had no idea, as a walker, that there were hills. It's all very interesting.

Riding the bike is such a different activity than walking. When I'm walking, I'm constantly thinking about form -- am I standing up straight, am I going heel to toe, and lately, am I maintaining the hip wiggle (don't laugh, it's hard!)? -- and strategy. Bike riding, well, anything goes.

So, I rejoice in the downhills, and I watch as people pass me -- it seems like the same guy, over and over again. That's okay -- I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm barely aware of the river as I ride along it. I don't recognize anyone, but the street people, who seem a bit more beneficient when I'm on my bike.

I thought a bit about my teenage years, when I trained for a century on a single-speed Free Spirit. I wasn't fast then either. I didn't know nothing about nothing. I just liked to ride. I hope to get back to that.

I finished Slow Fat Triathlete this morning. Now I'm in the period of mourning that comes after finishing a good book. Mind you, I have a pile of walking books on the table waiting for me, and I bet there are some good ones there. Also, marathon and ultra training books. But will they be as witty and warm as SFT? Unlikely.

Jinx

2004-09-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

I ended up staying home sick today. It's a rest day for walking, but I had been planning to ride my bike into work for the Bike Commute Challenge which began today. It's also a upper-body weightlifting day. No such luck. So I spent the day sleeping, which I must have needed. Disappointing though -- where's my endorphin rush?

I had a great training day on Saturday -- 12 miles, the first 4.5 miles straight up hill -- and I ended up with a 15:25 pace, incredible for me. But since then I've felt run down, and the humidity and warmth hasn't helped any. I did about 2 hours of slow walking both Monday and Tuesday, each time feeling like I was just dragging myself.

One very cool thing happened yesterday afternoon -- I got my Portland Marathon training shirt. It's even prettier than it looks on the website, and it's made of a nice technical fiber fabric. Woohoo! My coworkers seemed to think I had already walked the marathon, and that this was my finisher's prize.

Beginning now

2004-08-31T19:25:00.000-07:00

It begins so anti-climatically. I'm on the couch, about to eat ice cream, about to read the Slow Fat Triathlete web site in the hopes that Jayne Williams will say something that will inspire me to have a brilliant blog name. Sigh.

This is a blog about working out. I'll talk about food too, but not about dieting. I'm a serious, but terribly slow, walker who weightlifts, and is starting to bike-ride for the first time in years. I'm training for the Portland Marathon which takes place in 33 days. So far, the furthest I've walked is 19 miles.

Like a lot of people, I've come to this place via a mid-life crisis. At 41, talking to a coworker, I realized that my self-image was of myself at 27 -- in great physical shape, strong and robust. And yes, still fat -- but ready to walk or ride my bike across town, ready for anything. 6 months ago, I really wasn't ready for anything. I was exhausted, had uncontrolled heartburn, stomach trouble, depression, and walking a flight of stairs winded me.

When I made that realization, a friend mentioned that she had joined a marathon training organization, PortlandFit, and right then I decided that I would too, even though she was running, and running was out of the question for me. And I did join. A month later, I did a half-marathon, got heat exhaustion, but by then I had the bug. I knew I loved walking, and I knew I loved events, even though I was so slow that I was never going to be a "winner". Since then, I've done a second half-marathon, a 5K and two 10Ks, and I love events -- love them.

My whole self-image has changed. As well as my health, my energy levels, and my stress tolerance. And I'm here to spread the word that exercise and eating right makes all the difference. Yes, the media says that fat = illness, but it's not so cut and dried. Fat people who exercise are healthier than "normal" people who don't exercise. And everybody could use less processed food, and more veggies and fruit.

Now, the name. Athena is a weight-category for larger women in running and triathlons, starting at 150 lbs. Mind you, I would consider myself skinny at 150, and I'm nowhere near that. But that's all the concession that these sports give to heavier women. There are also Bonnydales and Lady Clydesdales, and it's about the same schtick.

One of my favorite songs is Tales of brave Aphrodite by Beat Happening, and so Tales of Brave Athena came immediately to mind. Mind you, Athena is not a goddess that is associated with sport like Diana, Atalanta, or Calliste. Friends suggested Slow Moving Vehicle and Tortoise tales and Athena's Chariot and Built for Comfort, not for Speed, which are all great, but they just aren't me.

As a fat woman, here I am, competing and training with women who mostly are much, much smaller than I am. And faster. I went out first in cotton pants, then long running shorts, before I finally bit the bullet and wore shiny spandex bike shorts that emphasized every bulge. (I've since discovered Terry skorts, which combine matte bike shorts with a little wrap around skirt and pockets -- a perfect combination of utility and modesty) I feel like my presence at races and events should attract negative comments -- but none so far to my face. Everyone has been very supportive.

I know that's not always the case. I know some runners look down on walkers, and I know other organizations in town look down on PortlandFit because they are so embracing of slow runners and walkers. And I know of other organizations that are further down the pecking order because they are all walkers and all female.

Enough of all this -- time to read Jayne!