last day

This blog will go silent from October 29-November 8

Today is my last day before the trip. My mind is going a million miles a minute thinking about things I gotta do, things I wanna do, things I should do before I leave. I had lots of excuses for not riding in this morning, but the fact that my mind races seemed to be an excellent argument for doing it anyway.

So I did ride in. Maybe this is becoming a habit! It's overcast and chilly, but not an unpleasant day to ride. Usually, when I'm riding or walking, the talkative part of my brain lets up, and I can just watch and listen, which is why exercise outside is so soothing. This morning, the talkative part was especially manic. Oh well. I felt really good, really strong, and faster. And, I only had two SUVs try to turn into me!

In other important matters, can anyone recommend a walker-friendly marathon in January? I had thinking about doing the Las Vegas, but it looks distinctly un-slow-walker friendly. A cool destination is a plus.

Have a great weekend/week!

Cheating

I did not ride in today. And I feel like I cheated! Whatta lazy bum! I have a work retreat to go to today, and if I biked, it meant I wouldn't see my beloved at all before I had to run off to my evening activity (tasting hamburgers. It's a hard life, isn't it?). I did do some walking, and I did do my upper body workout, a nice hard one, but I still feel like I didn't really get a workout in. And there is no chance of working one in later.

However. Every muscle in my body hurts. This is what happens when you do pilates once every two weeks.

Time is running out before my trip. I am still not packed, I am still obsessing about whether I should bring the running pants, getting a book for the plane, getting my nails done so they don't shred on the trip. Is there more? It seems like there should be. Just like being at an expo immediately before marathoning is dangerous to your wallet, there is the temptation (for me) to just buy a lot of stuff before a trip. Currently, I'm obsessing about buying sport bras, but should I manage that, there will be something else. It's just the nature of the beast.

Speaking of purchasing things, I had asked Jen of Where's my Body where she got her winter cycling gear, and bless her, she posted it. Of the sites she posted, I think I enjoyed Rivendell's the most. The descriptions of the items are so far from conventional marketing copy that it just makes my heart sing. I especially liked this "sweater".

Jayne Williams, the Slow Fat Triathlete update

• Jayne was on the NPR program Only a Game, talking about triathons


• her race report of the FIRMman Half-Ironman in Narragansett, Rhode Island


• and her race report of the Meat Pie Triathlon

bye bye John Peel

John Peel has left the building.

I rode in again this morning. I am very pleased with myself. It's now still dark at 7am, which makes me nervous riding, but perhaps the time change will help with that. I like riding the same route, and noting the changes that come day by day. A house that used to have overgrown bushes, and lots of weeds growing over them now has had all the bushes pulled out and there is lawn (and multiple John Kerry signs), looking very tidy and well-kept. The street person who sleeps in the doorway of the church office was getting up as I rode by. Sara was already at the Community Center gym. And another street person, sleeping on a bench, was sleeping under a great green quilt--every possible shade of green trimmed with this amazing chartreuse. Incredible!

rain

Marshall, please forgive me -- thanks for the advice and wellwishing. Yow, I was thinking of you but somehow did not type your name...

I did pilates at lunch, which was tremendously uncomfortable. There's the goth toe on one foot, and the toes on my other feet also weren't that happy to move in a graceful and controlled way. Oh, and the road rash on my elbow still doesn't want any weight anywhere near it. And, it's just plain hard.

It was raining when I went to leave work, so I took the MAX part of the way home, which still meant I was soaked by the time I got home. And for some reason, I didn't want to drive to the gym to spend three hours on the treadmill. Oh my gosh, what was I thinking?

Tonight, I am trying to come up with a packing list. I'm a neurotic traveler -- I always overpack, I always end up bringing a heavy bag on the plane, and I am always trying not to overpack. I thought this just used to be about visiting family, but now that I do business trips, I go through the same obsessive stuff. Do I give in to my desire to have a different outfit for each day, now multiplied by two with my walking clothes? And what about the weather?? This is northern Michigan, fer heavens sakes!

thank you!

thank you, Jon and Richard and Pam and Susan and Dianna for the well-wishing and advice on troublesome toes! My goth toe did great during the race, though it wasn't as happy once I was walking around Target in clogs.

I rode in again today. How long until it's a habit? Dunno. It felt good.

Yesterday morning, before the race, I looked at my belly and thought it looked, well, bigger. Then I put on my skort, and yes, I had to adjust the clasp. Damn it, I guess I was living too high on the hog, too many hamburgers and too much beer. But then I went to Target to get some mom-trip clothes, and I was surprised to see that I've gone down a size both top and bottom. Wuhoo!

Stay Fit (unfortunate name)--the off-season, non-official, PFit group--started up on Saturday. I got there late and ended up walking 3 miles on my own. I'm going mostly
for the social interaction--I doubt I'll be doing a lot of long slow distance work with them. So, I didn't manage to do my 8 miles over the weekend. I'm hoping to do it on the treadmill tonight (yuck).

Oh, the results were posted. And, they were different (read: not as excellent) than both what they had posted immediately after the race, and what I had timed myself at. Whatever. According to this new number, I did a 14.53 minute mile, which is a full half minute faster than anything I've done before. I was 12/13 in my age group, and 41/46 women, 69/76 overall. I'm happy.

This time it's personal

Well, I just got back from the Great Pumpkin Chase, and I am thrilled. I PRed! 43:07.7 For those of you watching at home, that's a 13.89 minute mile. That's way faster than I've ever gone in a race. Wuhoo!

So, here's the longer version of the story. The 5K was a loop beginning and ending at a cool triathalon store in East County. The East County is well-known for strong persistent winds coming from the Columbia Gorge, even at times when it's still and windless in the city. It's frequently colder than the city as well.

So I go out onto my back porch this morning in my Run Against Bush t under my marathon "matrix" long-sleever and my skort, and I am dressed fine for the weather. It's cool, but excellent weather for a race. Mela and I get to the store, and it is FREEZING. It is really cold. So we go in the store. Everyone is hanging out in the store. There are teenagers, the cross-country team that is benefitting from this run no doubt, sacked out in the chairs and couches, and there are tons of adorable kids in adorable costumes, and even some adults in costume. And a lot of people wearing a runner's costume.

It's 9 o'clock, start time, so we go outside, and it's even #&*^)$% colder. And the race, a tiny, casually-organized event, doesn't start on time. We stand by the giant pancake griddles trying to stay warmer. At 9:20, the 5K actually begins.

I go to the very back of the line for obvious reasons, and an older woman compliments me on the matrix top. Oh did I do the marathon, oh yes I did. Oh she did it too. Well congratulations. Then she asks my time. I said, I was pretty slow. Oh, what was it? 9 hours, I said. Oh my G-d, she says, that's so slow, I finished in 7:58.07. She then asks if she can participate in this (like, do I look like I work at a triathelete supply shop?) and then just decides that, what can they do about it if she does.

May I just say--she's rude. On an event like this, with maybe 150 participants who have gotten t-shirts and socks and a pancake breakfast out of this, it's hard to see that there will be a whole lot of profit for the X-country team. And this rude woman is just going to take advantage of all the organization and planning that the store did for this, and not give them their $18? And of course, I was seriously seriously pissed about the slow remark.

Anyways, it starts and I am motivated to move fast. She starts blathering about 'oh my G-d, you walk so fast, how do you walk so fast', and I'm not sure if she's figured out that it's not cool to tell someone else they are slow and she's backpedalling, or if I am actually going fast, but it doesn't really matter. Soon she is talking about running--do I run? I do not, I tell her. A minute later, do I run? No, I don't. This happens multiple times. She finally starts jogging away. Fine.

Right now I am just thinking that I'll keep her in sight, and I'll surge past at the end. I'm moving well, feeling good, and my heart rate is up, but at a somewhat sustainable pace. The chill is a good motivator too. But I don't even need to strategize, because she never ends up more than about a block and a half ahead of me. The race has no markers for miles, so it's hard to know when to give it the gas.

At some point, a couple surge past me. They appear to not even be breaking a sweat. May I just say, I hate these people? And I want to be them when I grow up?

Probably at the 2 mile point, I catch up with her, and she's asking, did you run (okay, everyone, in a chorus: No I did not). Well, how did you catch up with me? which I don't answer because it's obvious. I chat with her for a minute or two, because I do not want to reveal the seething inside, and then I begin to speed up.

The woman who is walking with her says, are you going to let her beat you? And I am thinking, oh yeah, bring it on, but I say nothing. And the woman starts blubbering that I'm walking too fast, and after a couple more are you going to let her beat yous (yes, exact phrase), she says, yes, I will let her beat me.

Oh, really? #&*^ you! And I really let it loose. About a block from the finish line, I heard footsteps and I picked up again--it was a runner, finishing his 12K. I cross the finish line, and for such a tiny race, everyone is cheering. I get a slug of water and then wait for my pancakes--yum! Never ever tasted better pancakes.

Mela did well too, and so we are both coasting on the post-race endorphin rush-euphoria. Wuhoo! I can't believe I went that fast. That was fun!

And that woman? She came through a few minutes later. She must have thought I was a nice fat middle-aged lady, but that's where she got it wrong.

blustery

I rode in again this morning. I look forward to when this won't seem like an accomplishment, but that may be a ways off. It was chilly and windy this morning, slow going, and there weren't many cyclists out.

My wipeout yesterday did not destroy the iPod. It appears no worse for the wear. Hurrah!


Here is the gratitious cat and dog picture. Nigella appears back to her old self, and here she is cowing the dog into submission.

I have the ballots here, ready to mail, our civic duty done!! As P. Diddy says, Vote or Die! (I don't know what the dying is about...)

I've been in a decluttering spree at home, and the most visible part of it is bringing about a dozen magazines in to the gym and our work magazine exchange. It feels so good to get them out of the house. At that rate, it will still be a couple of months before I denude the downstairs of magazines--I have a problem, friends, I'm not afraid to admit it. I am powerless before magazines. (prima)Gravida has been doing a ton of decluttering--very inspiring.

I posted to the PFit forum about my goth toe (black cuticle, black nail) and what should I do with/for it for the big race--so far, silence. What do you do when you get a goth toe? Is there a technical term for this?

road rash

It had to happen. It was just a matter of time. I realized as I was getting on the bike to come home that I hadn't actually ridden up every hill. No, I had forgotten about the steep ramp coming out of the parking garage. Well, damn it, I've seen other people ride up that hill, I can do it too (what was that phrase, vanity coming before a fall?). So, I tried it, and I almost got all the way up before it was clear that I wasn't going to make it, and indeed, I fell over backwards, landing on my backpack and my elbow. I was mortified.

The parking garage guy, who is very nice, came over to assess the situation, and help me up. I was mortified. I was a mess. And it didn't seem right to take the bus or the train. No, I needed to chin up and just ride home. And I did. The road rash on my elbow--well, you don't want to hear my whining. I hear chicks dig scars (the boyfriend was mortified).

I rode home slowly. And, I actually encountered someone who rides slower than I do! Unfortunately, he was having an animated conversation, I think with himself, so I suppose I can't brag about this.

crazy about bike commuting

Today's Oregonian newspaper had an article about how Portlanders are crazy about bike commuting. Check it out now-- they never have these articles up for long....
Bike commuters on a road well traveled : The number of Portlanders who'd rather pedal than drive is gaining and sees bonuses to boot

a real Oregon cyclist

Well, I am now a real Oregon cyclist--I rode to work in the rain. Unfortunately, I didn't check the weather or walk onto the porch to check out the conditions, so I was without rain gear, and was soaked through by the time I got to work. But I rode in--in the sprinkles and showers!

I was really happy to get to the gym and climb on the treadmill for a while. And then take a long hot shower. Bliss!

Triumph!

It's ended up being a very good afternoon.

One, I rode home. The emphasis on ride. As in, not walking up any hills. Not a single one, not a single time. It took me 38 minutes, which is 8 minutes longer than getting to work (I ride really slow), which is a new record. This totally kicked my ass, and I was so happy that I thought I'd float. Can't wait to bike again!

Nigella is home. She greeted me at the front door when I came home. She's been eating and drinking, and while she's not destroying things, I'm hopeful she'll resume that in the next day or so.

I signed up for a 5K on Sunday. Mela's doing it too. It's tiny and goofy and concludes with a pancake breakfast!

I went to the gym over lunch to work in my upperbody stuff, and decided to try the elliptical again. What a joke. This time, I tried a machine called the Free Runner, which I ran backwards with for awhile. It was weird, running and having absolutely no impact as you ran, which should be great, right? But your feet are in, I don't know, stirrups or foot cages or foot holders pointed straight down, which made my blackened toe rub against the end of my shoe. Not good. Not happy. So much for that idea.

Everyone seems to be sick. My sweetie -- very sick, most of the male Running Blogging Family members, sick, most of my coworkers, sick. I am hitting the vitamin c and zicam hard-- I really don't want to get sick.

I went to pick up some chinese take-out tonight, complete with the healing hot and sour soup. A guy came in right after me, and started to chat me up about my Helvetia Half Marathon t-shirt. It's weird--I don't think of myself as attractive, but I'm more confident than I was, and I no longer wear clothes that are two sizes too big. I was really uncomfortable. I'm sure the guy was just making conversation. It's no real surprise that I'm 100 pounds overweight, that weight--built up over years of not exercising much and eating too much--has protected me. I'm trying to change that. I will protect me--I don't need that fat anymore.

marathon training schedule - long walks

10/23 - 08 miles
10/30 - 10 miles
11/06 - 10 miles
11/13 - 25K (15.5 miles)
11/20 - 09 miles
11/28 - Seattle half-marathon (13.1 miles)
12/04 - 11 miles
12/11 - 30K (18.6 miles)
12/18 - 9 miles
12/25 -11 miles
01/01 - 11 miles
01/08 - 21 miles
01/15 - 7 miles
01/22 - 5 miles
01/29 - marathon (26.2 miles)


(this assumes one full restday a week, plus walks on M, T & Th, crosstraining on W & F)

back on the bike

I was running so very late this morning that I decided to take the bike. At first I thought that I had completely lost any conditioning that I had gained by bike commuting in September, and I started mentally kicking myself for not doing at least some biking, but then, suddenly, I seemed to hit my stride and everything was fine. It was a beautiful ride in, and for the first time in about a week, I felt content.

One of the diffuse goals that has been swimming around in my head is (re)designing this blog, and my thought for doing it was to have pictures of walking and riding surfaces: paths, thruways, streets, sidewalks. This may work out to be a great idea or a dumb one, but I started taking pictures this morning.

Goals:

1. get a blog up and running on my own domain by the beginning of the year (hopefully it'll be much sooner than that, but this is fairly low priority)


2. Seattle half-marathon, November 28


3. Destination marathon in January*

Nigella is still in the kitty hospital. We've gone way beyond the economic worse-case-scenerio and are now talking a decent vacation for two or a decent treadmill kind of money. This couldn't have come at a worse time, what with buying plane tickets to rural Michigan, and a month full of big bills. I had hoped to get a fluid trainer for one of the bikes, but that won't be happening this month. So there may not be a destination marathon in the future, but damn it, if I can, I will.

Her temperature was coming down yesterday. We're hoping that her fever will break today so she can come home.

partly cloudy

There's been talk on the Running Blog Family about medals--what do you do with yours? All mine hang in the hallway from a post on the staircase. Well, all but the one to the left, which proudly hangs in the kitchen. It's my favorite.

I just went on a walk to the Technical Bookstore. It's drizzling off and on, and Portland smells bad. Yikes. Still, nice to get another little walk in.

I finally made the plans to go see my mom in a few weeks, but I'm going to miss all of the halloween runs, sadly. I'm also going to miss Slug Velo's Fall Color Saunter. I learned about Slug Velo (subtitle: We're Slow. We're Sociable. We're Slug Velo!) in Oregon Cycling Magazine, and I gotta say, this sounds like my kind of group. I'm bummed that I'll be outta town for this month's ride.

I'll also be at Mom's for the election. Thank heavens Oregon is a vote by mail state!

Tuesday

Hi. I did another nice slow workout this morning, 30 minutes of slowness on the treadmill. For fun, I tried the elliptical trainer, which I seem to lack the inherent coordination to be able to use correctly. Oh well. I'm looking forward to a longer workout over lunch, and hoping it will give me the boost I so thoroughly need.

Nigella is still in kitty hospital, still with a high fever.

I am so underwhelmed. Hopefully I'll catch a first wind soon.

insert title here

Thanks for all the suggestions on the blog software issue. I'm no further along in my decision making, but hey. I do appreciate the input.

Perhaps this is post-marathon blues? It doesn't help that the weather has turned grey and drizzly and overcast.

Last night I went to the airport to pick up Mela. The airport is kinda stressful in the best of circumstances, and last night as I stood at the shute that the arrivees descend out of, I was filled with desperation. Had she already come through and I missed her? Was this even her flight? Where was she? I saw soldiers coming through, being greeted with all manner of flags and red-white-and blue balloons and lots of picture taking, and I wondered--were they back from Iraq? Afghanistan? There was a small child behind me with an even smaller flag which he was beating against the carpet until his father asked him to "please, be nice to the flag". I had to crack up.

We did finally find each other after she had been sitting outside for about 5 minutes, and then we couldn't find the car, and finally in the car, we decided to get pho at Pho Van, and it was closed. We ended up at the Takahashi, a funky little japanese diner/sushi bar, and we both had the tension soothed out of us with ramen, tofu agedashi and tempura.

I took a personal day this morning. Maybe it's just the emotional stuff but my body feels tired and cranky as well. I took one of the cats to the vet, and there she is staying. This is Nigella, the destructobot young cat who is always begging for food or aggressively demanding attention or chasing her sister or destroying things, who, for the last couple days has done nothing but sleep. She has a 105 degree temperature which is high for a healthy young cat, and was a bit dehydrated, so they are keeping her "in hospital" with an IV drip. Poor little thing.

So now I wait by the phone to hear how she is. I wish I could go get a workout in.

blue

It's overcast outside, and I'm a little blue. Not sure what I want. Am I hungry? Or queasy?

I've spent the morning looking at blog software. I've been a little frustrated with blogger--the fact that sometimes you can't be sure if a post has been made, or a blog is unavailable, etc. I need something that isn't going to take a weekend to install, that will have categories, that will allow multiple blogs, that will scale. Someday, I'd like to take the alt.portland guide, and database it, and I think blog software like Movable Type might do that quite gracefully. But Movable Type sounds like a nightmare to install.

Have you installed a CMS/blog software on your ISP? What did you choose and why? How was/is the experience?

I think I need to get a walk in before it starts to pour again. That's bound to make me feel better.

slow but happy

I dreamt last night that I walked a marathon, and that it went smoothly and without histronics. I started slow, I built speed, and as I came off the St. Johns Bridge, I was fresh and rarin' to go. I came to the wall, acknowledged it, then went on through. My body was made to do this.

I know where this came from. Among other things, I had just such a pleasant, relaxing evening with my sweetie. He was happy, I was happy. I read my blogs as usual, and I was happy and amazed that Marshall was feeling great after his 50 miler -- how impressive is that? I wanna be like him when I grow up!

Richard from Running Towards Fitness talked about the need for doing long slow distance running to build up aerobic capacity. That in turn made me think about Stu Mittleman's Slow Burn which I haven't finished, and I should probably give more thought to.

So this morning at the gym, I did my upperbody workout, and then hit the treadmill, set very slow. As usual, my ego is my worst enemy. My ego wants me to prove how fast and strong I am--hey, I'm fat, but look at what I can do. My ego does not want to go slow. I have to remind myself that no one is paying attention to me, and even if they are, who cares? It's all the usual suspects at the gym when I'm there, all obsessively caught up in their own workout, or a magazine or both.

I've been warned that it takes 6 weeks to see significant change, and 20 or more to get to where I need to be. I have the time to fix this, if I start now. --Richard

6 weeks would mean I should see some improvement for a January marathon. Damn!

treadmill

I had a nice short session on the treadmill this morning. The gym had the new issue of Fast Company, which I thumbed through as I ambled along. I also looked out the window and watched people go by. Very pleasant. It didn't feel like a real workout--it wasn't tough, I didn't get my heart rate very high, and it didn't last long--but right now it's just a matter of getting the mileage in, and letting myself recover from the marathon.

My weight has dropped a little. 239. 4 pounds more and I will have lost my library school gain. While the six months of walking training really reshaped my body and I lost inches, my weight stayed frustratingly static. I know my weight affects everything, most prominently speed, and I'm all about getting faster, stronger, and the rest of that.

I feel like I'm phoning it in, right now. I just feel tired and a little bummed and not too terribly interested in anything. I guess it makes sense--I had been pushing myself pretty hard over the last week or more, and I've been so focused on marathon and then magazine (the work project) that now that they are both over, I'm not sure what I should be doing with myself. This too shall pass.

woohoo, walk!

I am pleased to finally note that I am done with my project. Sure, I have lots of tweaking I could and should do, but the necessary part of it is over, so I can go and find some new stress. Woo hoo!

I got done with said project at 1:30 (the absolute deadline was 3pm). A little too close for comfort. I went and got a sandwich and sat in the sun, in the beautiful, beautiful weather, and I wanted to go to bed. For the night. I felt so exhausted.

I never did make it to the gym, but I went for a nice walk this evening. I decided to meet my sweetie up at the chiropractor, which I'm guessing is 3 miles away. I am reading the Runner's World
Complete Book of Women's Running, and they had a heart monitor tip in there, to warm up, then get your heart rate up to 75%, then bring it back down to 60%, repeat.

I learned that it's really easy to get my heart rate up to 75%... and really hard to get it back down to 60% afterwards. I spent a lot of time walking very slowly. Watching the HRM really makes the 43 minutes fly.

So does this mean I'm out of shape? Still recovering from the marathon? I don't know. It's just something else to work on.

everything

May I just say, everything aches today? It does. Abdomen, check. Quads and hamstrings, check. Strange new muscles in hips, check. Arms, uh huh.

Today is the big day. I have three meetings, on top of a presentation, but my real hope is that I will finish my project, and get to go to the gym. Hope, hope, hope.

a night off

I still haven't made my deadline (though my deadline deadline is tomorrow), but I'm taking the evening off. I'm hitting the wall, as far as work goes—all weekend, all day yesterday and today, and last night. I wish I were done with it, but it's nice to have take an evening off. My sweetie and I went out for comfort food and beer this evening, and he talked about the great professional development thing that he went to, and I talked about this project. At least his PD thing was interesting.

In catching up with my blogs, I learned that I missed the Great Columbia Crossing, a 10K which crosses the Columbia from Washington into Oregon. Last year my pal Mela ran it in horizontal rain. The timing is bad, a week after the Portland Marathon, but I'm a sucker for a bridge, and I'd like to do it sometime.

I also learned that the Royal Victoria is beautiful and challenging. I wanna do it! Why are there so many fun events in October?

So, today, instead of doing a spinning class, a couple of us from work decided to walk up to another coworker's house on Council Crest. This is one of our larger hills here in town, with the top around 1100 feet above sea level (downtown is 20 ft above sea level). We were going to take a bus, but then, well, it didn't happen, so we walked up the hill. About 45 minutes into the walk, which was straight up hill, up Vista St, my coworker mentioned the time, and I freaked out. 45 minutes and we weren't there yet?!? It was at that point that I bailed. Both shins are complaining this evening, and I thought I re-screwed up my ankle in the walk down the hill, but I'm hoping that's not the case.

Shoot. We could walk to my house, not up hill (unless you're riding a bike :)) in less than 45 minutes. I love hills, and this really kicked my butt, so I've been obsessed with tackling it again. This makes Terwilliger seem like kids stuff. And I will tackle it again...

limbo

My deadline has come and gone, and I am still feverishly working. Sigh. I'm not letting myself really think about the future—of anything—until I get this done.

So, yesterday I went to a Pilates class. First time I've done a gym group class, first time I've done anything like pilates, and boy, did it kick my ass. I expected to be in real pain today, but I'm just achey in places—and strangely enough, not in my stomach. I may try the spinning class today, depending on my stress level. (now that oughta really hurt!)

This morning, I did the cross-country ski machine, my old favorite for getting my ass kicked. I get all caught up in watching all the numbers—goal rate versus actual speed, distance, calories burned, time—that the time always flies.

I want to think about goals. I want to figure out when I can see my mom. I want to get some perspective on what's up for the next year at work. I gotta come up for air soon.

pilates

Damn, that's hard!

results

Date	Event	Distance	Time	Pace
10/3/2004	Portland Marathon	26.2 mi	8:56:49	20:28
9/19/2004	Race for the Cure	5K	50:04	16:07
8/8/2004	Bridge Stride	6 mi	1:34	15.67
8/1/2004	Run Hit Wonder (Portland)	10K	1:47:19	17:16
7/29/2004	Columbia Classic	5K	47:29	15:17
7/4/2004	Foot Traffic Flat	13.1 m	3:53:03	17:47
6/19/2004	Helvetia Half	13.1 m	3:59:07	18:14

stress

So, I did work all weekend, and I'm still not done. This may be the first time I've missed a deadline at this job after 5 years. My level of freak-out-ed-ness about this seems to swing radically.

Knowing that today may well be reeeeeeeeeaaaally stressful, I went for a good hard upper-body workout this morning. It was great—it totally kicked my ass. I've decided to add bench presses to the workout in the hopes that the next time I encounter a pump and run, I'll be able to do it. I have a ways to go before I'll be there.

I've decided if I get stressed during the day, I'm just going back to the gym. That time will pay for itself in productivity.

Now I feel all fresh and loose. Let the games begin!

working from home

Well, I'm starting late, but I'm just about to start working on work. My hope is to work straight through until I get it all done, which will hopefully be some time this evening, so I can have tomorrow as a free day. I doubt I'll get so lucky, I have a lot to do. But that's my plan.

The marathon folks are being slow about posting times and photos. I did see that they updated my personal record:

Division: 40-44 Division Place: 519

SPLIT	TIME	PACE	PLACE
10K:	1:48:19	17:25
15k:	2:38:05	16:57
Half Marathon:	3:53:29	17:48
FINISH:	8:56:49	20:28	6110

Gun Time: 9:02:25

This down time is killing me. The ankle continues to improve, and I am mentally going stir-crazy. Yesterday, work was stressful, and I had no outlet to flush it out of me, so I ended up doing some housecleaning. You know I'm losing it when the answer is cleaning the house.

But, there is lots of racing to do vicariously. Marshall pointed out the Complete Running Calendar. I'm also cheering on a bunch of PFitters who are racing the Royal Victoria Marathon et al tomorrow. Woohoo!

walk this way

I am so thirsty for information about walkers and walking. Where is this information? Where is this community? It has to exist.

Marshall and I exchanged emails the other day, and one of the things that came up was blogging walkers. Where are they? Is it just he and I (him and me)? We both follow runners' blogs to get our fix of athletism. It's not right. I know plenty of serious walkers--so why aren't they blogging?

Am I just living under a rock? Please let me know.

Everyday, I check the forums on PFit. Now that PFit is over for the year, the messages are going to slow down, and then what am I going to do? Hang out on the womens' boards on Runners World? Well, yeah, probably.

Speaking of Runners World, there is a great article on Curt Clausen, the top US racewalker, in the November 2004 issue. I couldn't find it online, but it's called The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Walker. I did find a NPR story, pre-Olympics, called Walking -- Fast -- Toward an Olympic Dream, and also, this wonderful quote:

"I walked a marathon once," Olympic speed walker Curt Clausen recalled, "where there was this marine who took off [running] and said, 'I'll have a heart attack before I let you beat me.' Of course, less than a mile later, I blew by him and beat him by more than 20 minutes."
from Maxim, Aug. 2004

craziness

My ankle is doing better, thanks for asking. It's much less swollen, I have better flexibility, and I can walk without too much limping. Oy!

I finally finished Heft on Wheels. It was a fun read. To summarize (though not as entertainingly as in 30 seconds with bunnies or with kittens or spongemonkeys):

1. author is fat, smoker, alcoholic, who likes to bike


2. another biker says the author is too slow


3. author decides to prove him wrong


4. author quits smoking, drinking and eating


5. author overtrains


6. author loses a ton of weight and meets personal goals


7. author gets hit by a truck

The end! Magnuson has a great voice, and is very likable. Mostly, what I've come away with is that bike riding gets easier when you weigh less (well, duh!), and that you gotta avoid motor vehicles.

As much as I'd like to get on the overtraining bandwagon, I am going to be spending most of my evenings and weekend working on work. I have an insane deadline. I knew this was coming--it's just not terribly pretty.

things are looking up

Things are looking up around here. Listen to this!

1. my ankle is hurting less and I have more flexibility!


2. they are finally demolishing the King Food Mart!


3. the gym had the latest issue of Runner's World!


4. I had a great upper-body workout!

I can't tell you how relieved I am that my ankle is feeling better. It still hurts to walk on it, but at least it doesn't hurt so much just existing. And, after, what, five years or so of being closed, it's so wonderful to see the wrecking ball taking down the King Food Mart.

I suppose I owe some backstory here. The KFM has been an eyesore forever--a magnet for crime, drugdealing, prostitution, etc etc. Once the KFM was closed, things started settling down in my neighborhood. That isn't to say that there aren't regular flareups of obvious drugdealing and prostitution, but it's not constant any more. Still, for everyone I know in the neighborhood, the KFM has represented everything we've worked so hard to get away from. And now, finally, it's really going away.

I feel like I'm in limbo. I have to take it easy, I don't know when I'll be able to do anything really, I can't really make any plans for walking. Frustrating. This will pass. At least for now, I'll live vicariously through Marshall and his big ultra race in Kansas this weekend (he's gonna do great!!).

Hollie had mentioned another blog the other night that I should check out, Lexysmash. So I did check it out, and check this out! Here's an entry about Hollie and here's a gallery of pics of Hollie marathoning (as in, at the Portland Marathon on Sunday). Now, check this out--all those pictures are of Hollie after mile 21--is that fair? She looks like she's just out for a jog!

rest, ice, compression, elevation

Right now I'm icing my ankle. It's elevated too. Damn uncomfortable! I had to walk a couple blocks to lunch today and my right leg clearly and directly expressed its displeasure. Ugh.

I've been checking the marathon results page regularly, hoping that my results will be posted, but it appears that time has stoppped. The same 500 women have been on the women's overall, the same 14 20-39 145-159# athenas, etc. I checked under my bib number and got my first half splits, which weren't bad when you consider that I was being leisurely.

Distance	Time	Pace
10K:	1:48:19	17:25
10 Mile:	2:38:05	16:57
Half Marathon:	3:53:29	17:48

back at work

I'm back at work. Still with a swollen, unhappy ankle, but otherwise 'rarin to go.

Some of my coworkers have been so sweet, I'm just overwhelmed. One initiated a congratulations card, several have come in and asked for the gory details... I, of course, am wearing my finisher t-shirt and medal under a blouse.

After a day of telecommuting yesterday, I left the house and went to the bragging party. Silly me, I went fashionably late, an hour and a quarter into it, and missed a bunch of pals, but I was able to see my coaches and a number of the ACs. At one point, I welled up--I was surprised how emotional I was. Even though I don't know any of these folks well, I have this emotional bond to the group, and I was happy that we had done what we came to do, and sad that it was all over.

I'm surprised this morning, too, how emotional I am. It's really incredible.

I have a few pics that my sweetie took up on Flickr if you are interested:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/52805841@N00/sets/18131/

getting by with a little help from my friends

or, the best laid plans
or, how not to do a marathon

In the morning, before the marathon, I read some of John Bingham's Marathoning for Mortals. He was talking about the need to develop three race-day strategies. One, for the perfect day, a second for a day that could be better, and a third for a day that couldn't be worse.

I had a strategy, and I thought I was flexible. I didn't think anything really about what I read, as in, this might be foreshadowing...

The day started off great. I woke up at four, had had a great night's sleep, had breakfast and coffee and time to fuss over my gear, and got downtown at about 5:50. I met up with the PFit folks, met an Assistant Coach I've been corresponding with, and generally had a bang up time. I hit the porta-potties 4 times before the start, because I just wanted to get it all out of my system.

I walked initially with two PFitters that I hadn't met before--we all had the goal of starting very slow and pouring it on at the end. They were great company. All along the beginning of the route there were crowds cheering and bands playing, and quite frequently cheerleaders. I was tremendously happy to see the radical or anarchist cheerleaders there, most of which were in the chubby continuum, cheering "Fit and Fat, we're down with that!".

At several points, we got to see other competitors. Coming down Front, we got a great view of the marathoning wheelchairs and the 5 milers, which was really incredible. There was one woman with a walker (as in, the assistance device) doing the 5 miler--now that's conviction.

The morning was cool and clear, with a nice breeze. I was busy chatting, looking for folks to cheer on and the like, as well as enjoying the music. By nine miles, I was about 4 minutes behind my splits times, which was right about where I wanted to be.
But I realized that I was dehydrated--at least, I should have realized that. I increased the water and the gatorade (though in retrospect, not enough).

But by the time I hit about ten miles, I started feeling a hot spot on the ball of my right foot. And I thought, maybe I should stop at the next medic station and have them treat it. Of course, I've never stopped to treat a blister or hot spot in a long walk, and it didn't occur to me that it might be a bad thing to try out.

I stopped at the medic, this one sponsored by a blister pad company, and lost about 10 minutes while she put the pad on my foot. Immediately afterwards, I knew this was the wrong thing as it was hurting much more. But I trudged on. Once I hit the halfway point, I tried to pick up speed--not a lot, but I was setting goals to pass people in a leisurely fashion, and I did.

I was doing a Gu every 3 miles, and sipping off a Gatorade. By the time I hit Checkpoint Charlie, where you have to have a marathon bib to be able to cross the bridge, I was feeling seriously nauseous, and afraid to have any more gatorade or Gu.

(Now I realize that in the past, I would do a Gu every 45 minutes, but I'd have diluted gatorade or powerade or better yet Smart Water, which contains no sugar. Don't change anything!)

By the time I got to the St. Johns Bridge, I saw my original companions again, who commented on how badly I was limping. Oh, shit. Still, I was okay. That was mile 17.

Mile 18, my beloved was waiting for me, with a new water bladder and sports drink. Luckily, that sports drink included Smart Water, so I took that. I got a tremendous amount of encouragement from seeing him just for the brief time, and I had been looking forward to it, counting down the miles.

Mile 19, I decided to detour into the portapotties, and once I got off my gear, there were Hanna and James. Oh my gosh! I wasn't expecting to see them, but I was so very very very happy to see them. They gave me a lot of encouragement, told me I looked good and fresh, basically said all the right things and smiled at me, and hugged me. Yay!

I learned soon after that I was really dehydrated. I was still also really nauseous, so even water was kinda iffy. So I trudged on. Marathon officials started moving us onto the sidewalks, which meant I had to be looking down at the uneven pavement rather than straight ahead.

By mile 20, I was really in pain, and I decided to see the medics again. The medic took a look at my foot, tore off the blister pad, and told me the ball of my foot was entirely raw. There's nothing I can do for this, she said, except coat your foot in vaseline--it's going to hurt, but hopefully this will help.

As I limped away I realized that my shoe was tied too tight. I loosened it, and then I started to bawl. I wasn't going to make it, there was no way I was going to make it, all I wanted to do was finish the marathon, but I wasn't going to make it. I tried to think of honorable ways to bow out--like being hit by a car, or somehow seriously messing up my feet. I was coming up to the photographers, and I started shouting, no pictures, no pictures, please don't take my picture.

Who knows. I was wearing my sunglasses and hat--perhaps it wasn't obvious that I was crying harder than I can remember crying since my father's funeral.

I bawled and bawled, and then a car pulled alongside the road. It was Anne and Rachel with the baby. Anne jumped out and hugged me, and walked with me, very slowly. She asked me about how marathoners motivate themselves. Oh, go the next mile, get to the next aid station, get to the next tree, I said. Okay. Why don't we go to the next aid station, it's just a couple blocks up, she said.

So we made it to the mile 21 aid station, the PFit aid station. There were two folks that I didn't recognize at all, and Jone, my best walking pal, who hadn't done the marathon because she did a 60K about a month ago and blackened a toe. I was still bawling, but Anne, a nurse, switched into medical professional mode, and had me sit so she could take off my shoe. Her assessment was similar to the one at mile 20, but she cut out moleskin to go around the blister, which stretched across the ball.

I cried for about the next mile, while Anne tried to encourage me with buddhist philosophy and Jone told me about her marathon experiences. I tried to contact my sweetie, but he was already downtown. And he had Jill's number, so I couldn't call her.

By mile 22, I was doing okay. I was no longer crying, I was moving a little faster, and I was even able to make conversation with other marathoners.

There was a group of two women and a man--the man had an old external frame backpack on, wearing sandals. They were sweet. I had passed them and they had passed me several times at this point, but it didn't seem to be a competition for them. They had lots of homemade goodies they were noshing on, and they were all in great spirits.

Anne and Rachel tagteamed with me til about mile 23, but Jone, bless her soul, walked me in. It was tremendously encouraging, because she'd stop about every mile and move her car, and each time she'd come up and say, hey, you're moving faster, you're gonna make it. And at some point, I started to believe that too.

Going up and down the curbcuts was murder! My toes were hurting, my shins were hurting, and of course the bottom of my feet felt, well, worse than hamburger. I heard from my beloved and was able to let him know that it might be an hour before I'd cross the finish line.

While I was on the Steel Bridge, I heard from Mela, who had just finished her marathon and was quickly prepping for a business trip (she left within about 20 minutes of her call). And then I heard from my sweetie again, and I was able to say those magic words -- I'm on the Steele Bridge. Jone walked with me down Front, to Salmon where we met up with my beloved and Jill, and they all walked me in.

It was great to cross the finish line and to hear them announce my name--pronounced correctly! I collected a bag full of food, a medal, and a space blanket, and then headed home.

I was unable to tolerate the ice bath (I'm going to try again this morning), I started cramping up horribly, I was hot and cold, and then I got heartburn (maybe my choice of dinner wasn't so smart). My sweetie kept doting on me, taking care of me, it was lovely.

And this morning? I feel better than I thought I would. My arms and stomach are sore. My thighs feel fine. My left calf feels fine. My right shin is killing me. And I have a blister on each foot (though my left foot blister is small and inconsequential).

I asked my beloved last night to remind me how miserable I was when I start talking about doing marathons again. He said, oh I know you, you'll do more. I'm afraid he's right. I did so much wrong this time that I'd like to redeem myself...

finish time: 8:57:02

night before!

So, a miracle happened. The nail lady, and my blessed saint of a hair dresser both worked on me at the same time. My entire head is now ultra violet, and my nails are "black tie optional", a dark purple. I am a goth princess! Or something.

I had a great time with A&A at the Greek Festival, and we noshed on some yummy stuff. Then I ran (almost literally) to the bus tour. The bus seemed to have very few folks from Portland on it -- most had traveled for the marathon, including the Silicon Valley chapter of Asha for Education (a secular organization which raises money towards basic education in India in the belief that education is a critical requisite for socio-economic change). I sat next to a Portlander, and we talked about the route, races we had done, how early we were getting up, etc.

It was a gorgeous day, even with Mt. St. Helens erupting, and the tour was rather depressing. It freaked me out, and kinda stripped me of my calm "I'll take it as it comes" attitude. There was the awful Front Ave out and back... St. Helens road where the bridge never seems to get any closer... and then the St. Johns Bridge itself. I felt a bit better that my seatmate also seemed freaked out.

Later, my sweetie and I were at my favorite pasta joint, happily munching salad and talking about where to meet up tomorrow when the people next to us asked if we were talking about the marathon and was I participating, blah blah blah. They both gave me a huge pep talk about how it's a great marathon with great support and I was going to do great, and that awful Front there and back was all entirely flat. They were both experienced marathoners, and had done the Portland, as well as others, multiple times. It was nice--I felt very touched by how kind and excited they were.

Now, I think I have everything done and set. Well, I need to set up my splits bracelet. I've ironed the initials onto my shirt, I've put the chip on my shoe, I've attached the bib to my skort. I'm done enough for the night.

the day before

My. It's hard to believe, now, that the marathon is tomorrow. I'm ready, and I'm not.

Yesterday, I hit the expo, and to my disbelief, ran into three people I knew. Cool! I picked up lots of schwag (free marathon bars, Las Vegas Marathon playing cards), looked briefly at clothing (let's just say--I saw a quite a few people my size there, and I saw next to no clothing my size), and signed up as a Bonnydale.

I ran over to a record store that had hair dye in the hopes they would have something old school--but they only had the mall store brand. I picked up iron-on letters for my t-shirt, and went to the beauty supply to pick up hair clips. They, strangely enough, had manic panic (ultra violet). And, the library finally had John Bingham's Marathoning for Mortals for me.

I did dye my hair, at least, the longer sections that aren't blonde and red streaks, and I'm not terribly happy. The dyed sections look gothily blue! I'm going to chat with my hair dresser this morning and see what she recommends.

Today, for a day where I should be reclining and eating pasta, is full. I get my nails done (big treat!), I go to the Greek Festival with my coworker who just had surgery a week or so back, and I go on the marathon route bus tour. Oh well!

antsy

I'm waiting to leave work now. I'm a little frustrated as the files I need -- and I should have gotten on Monday the 27th -- seem to be not available. I can hear one of the people I need files from having an animated conversation about cats. And yet it will be my fault if I don't have the website up on time. Love this stuff.

But hey, I'm made of time. What's the big deal?

I had a weird dream last night, not unpleasant which I'm sure is full of psychological insight, not that I've gone there. I dreamt I was in a hotel somewhere in the midwest. I needed to get back to my mother's house in suburban Detroit (of course, my mom doesn't live in suburban Detroit anymore, but...) because my suitcase was there. And I needed to fly. So I finally get myself onto a plane (which seemed rather like the Portland Streetcar), and after awhile I realize that I booked the flight to my Mom's childhood home, 5 hours north of her house. Sometime later, I realize that it's actually going to western Michigan, not Mom's childhood home. That's when I woke up.

Now what I found really interesting was the fact that I was tremendously calm and confident and unflustered by the whole thing. I knew I'd get there eventually, I just needed to be flexible and patient. So what is that about? That flexible patient person doesn't seem really like me--my self-image is all about being flustered. But I liked it.

two days!

I am just feeling so full of joy and potential this morning. I feel calm for the first time this week, almost confident. I can't stop smiling!

I sent out the email, finally. I realized that there were only two miles that I was unsure where I'd be. My coworkers seemed amused by the whole thing, which was about what I expected.

I still don't have purple hair--that will have to happen today. I'm having a little crisis, because what else do I have to have a crisis about, as to if I should be using an old school brand like Crazy Color or Manic Panic, versus my mall-bought brand.

I'm working a half day today so I can go to the Marathon Expo, and then to see my chiropractor for a good-luck adjustment. I can plainly see I am going to be good for nada.